Self Portrait

I pulled an all-nighter
So my eyes, with half shut shutters,
Are red, blood shod.
I stayed up all night writing
A curriculum vitae, painting
A pretty picture of myself
As an object of glorious envy.
“I am” this, “I’m fit for” that
- like a tool in a state of ecstasy.
“I’ve worked hard” over there so
"I can work harder” over here,
So please employ me.

They’ll take five minutes, no more,
To judge 25 years of experience.
Then I go to bed feeling like a whore
For having to strip and lay bare
My fulfilments: actions in my life they’d
Durst not do so much as dare.
And all the while, they’ll strap on
That same smile you’d wear upon receiving 
A shitty Christmas present.

Beacuse that’s all it is, a presentation 
Of myself for them to rate
On a scale of
“We’re sorry to inform you…”
To
“We’re pleased to tell you…”
They’ll never know if rejection will
Leave a man or woman in dire straits,
Because all they see in a sea of CVs,
Are vainglorious self portraits.

1)https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1009t39/her/j2hxvag/?context=3
2)https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/100fzwe/envy/j2hykt6/?context=3