life is stressing me out

I've posted this before

so in a couple of days, i have an interview with a university and I'm not prepared, nor I'm I motivated, I regret my university course choice and I'm just floating through life. I've also got 2 exams which I'm currently spiralling over, I have no motivation to revise, it's just hard and a lot of content for me to remember. i failed my mocks last year and now the real thing is in a couple of weeks I might as well die.

I'm 18 and just feel behind, I've always been struggling with suicidal thoughts, I gave myself to god a couple of months ago and since then it's just gotten worse. coming from a strict religious upbringing and constantly feeling trapped. if this all goes down the drain, then my aim is to kill myself. I'm lost and just confused, I don't believe in god so why did I do this?

i know its hard, I just don't know what I should do with myself, its too much