I am way to emotionally unstable to work

but I can’t get any kind of welfare for whatever the fuck I have going on because nothing is diagnosed because it takes like 2 years to get diagnosed with anything and I need money but

1. working for more than a few months makes me want to blow my brains out
2. due to emotional instability if I was to work in a industry that I had to deal with the public on a daily basis I would 100% at some point punch a rude customer in the face
3. i’ve worked as a dish washer and construction any manual brain numbing shit like that makes me want to kill myself and all my higher ups I feel like i’m just setup from the beginning to kill myself at a young age or die in prison or as a homeless junkie