Should I (19f) tell my friends parents (M 56 and F50) about my concerns?
So I (19f) live with my friend(19nb) "Sheryl" and their parents because my university is in walking distance from their house. I moved in with them after they proposed I move in do due to my parents getting a divorce and because of my university. I known Sheryl for almost 4 years and I always knew them as a little lazy any spoiled, but oh lord it's worse than I thought.
After living with them for three months I made a lot of discoveries such as:
- Sheryl lied about their parents being ragin racists, homophobes and their negligence towards Sheryl
- Their room always looks like a trash tornado just went thru it, they don't clean after themselves and keep their really expensive stuff on the floor
- They do not study, they choose a really hard field and they do not study. Like, never. I saw them studying maybe once, with their mother.
- They lied about ed and having trouble sleeping/screaming at night(our rooms are so close I can hear them typing on their computer)
- They act depressed whenever asked about how they did in school(they failed almost 90% of their tests) and worry their parents sick or when someone tries to interact with them.
- They deliberately destroy their stuff to get new one from their parents(parents are rich, they can buy them a lot of stuff)
- Sheryl is a person who breaks the rules of the university that can get them expelled if someone gives them a call, and yet they don't stop or care about it.
- Sheryl gives everyone a silent treatment whenever someone tries to help them or comments gently on their behavior.
- They disrespect their parents in every way possible, treating them like a wallet and second class citizens
Everything I just listed has a really bad effect on their parents, every time we're eating together they get really worried about Sheryl, I just can't look at their sadness and worries. I'm concerned about them because I can hear them argue about why Sheryl is not happy/fails university and it breaks my heart because they do so much for them,and they sometimes blame themselves. I tried talking to Sheryl but they give me the silent treatment, start to insult me and say my studies are "so much easier I can't tell them what they should do or how to study", which is stupid because my studies are just different(they went into medical studies, I went into geology studies). And they suffer there, they whined to me about not having any friends and being sad that no one likes them. They seem to hate their studies, but won't admit, because they went into that field for their parents money(which is stupid, they give Sheryl money despite them failing everything)
After NYE I had enough, I just can't let their parents suffer because Sheryl doesn't tell them anything and they do everything for and after them. Like literally they try to help them and Sheryl is just like "no, I'm fine, I'm okay" in passive-aggressive tone. I want them to know, that Sheryls behavior is not their fault, they did nothing bad to them(maybe didn't discipline them enough but it's too late for that), so maybe they'll stop worrying so much. I want them to know, that Sheryl needs therapist and a professional help (they complained for last 3 years about having trouble focusing, and yet after 4 sessions of therapy in which, by their words "I was to lazy to do what therapist asked me to, it just doesn't work for me") they don't know what's wrong with them. But I don't know if I should do that and how to approach them to be respectful to my friend. Please help.
Tldr:I want to tell my friends parents with whom I and friend live about their poor behavior and reasons behind it.
Posted Jan 4, 2023, 6:09 PM UTC