Praying before a public school basketball game
Kind of a rant/ advice needed.
I go to a very small, rural Midwest public high school, about 40 people in each graduating class, less than 200 in the whole high school. A lot of my classmates, their families, and the community are Christian/ religious. I usually don't mind since it doesn't really affect me, except in basketball. In the locker room before any games we circle up and pray, then head out. For two years I didnt really say anything, but this year, I've grown a lot and wanted to stand up and not do it since I don't follow the religion, and it makes me uncomfortable. I talked to our athletic director (who is new and pretty young) and he made sure my coach acknowledged that if anyone on the team didn't want to pray, they didn't have to, but he would still like them to be in the circle, since we put our arms around each other and its been a tradition (for how long I dont know). Although that's kinda what I already did, I appreciated the gesture and still circled up because I have anxiety and being the only one not standing in the circle would have made it way more obvious and I didn't really want to be singled out, especially with how religious some of my teammates are. I already have to deal with the anxiety of being LGBTQ in a small, conservative school, and being gay in a girls' locker room isn't fun. I've dealt with it for the games, and it hasn't really bugged me too much since it's in a private locker room and no one else sees. But this week, we had a scrimmage (basically not an official game) against a homeschool team who I guess was Christian. We prayed before the game in the locker room, but then my coach told us that we were going to pray with the other team on the court. So we all got into a circle in the middle of the gym floor with people watching in the stands. I stood there with my head up while everyone else had their head down and felt so uncomfortable. I was slightly afraid of being judged or called out by people in the crowd because so many of them are Christian and since our school is so small, everyone basically knows everyone, and it doesn't help that I play multiple sports and am a senior. I saw one lady in our crowd with her phone out taking a picture or video. I had no idea what to do, and I felt like I had a target on my back. I tried to complain to my parents, but my dad is slightly religious and tried to talk to me about not being so "anti-religous," but it didn't really help. I'm not sure what to do since I already talked to my athletic director and it wasn't an official game, but I'm not sure if there's a middle ground better than "you don't have to pray but still stand in the circle". I'm stuck between the anxiety of standing out and being the only one not praying and how uncomfortable it makes me feel and how forced it still feels even though my athletic director and, I believe, a Supreme Court case said that it shouldn't be forced.
Bonus story: During the end of the game, one of my teammates hurt her knee, and I had to go in for her. When the game ended and we went back to the bench one of the other teams coaches came over and said something like "we don't want anyone hurt/ hope it heals fast, in Jesus name" to her. I thought it was just crazy to say something like that, like what is Jesus going to do about a hurt knee from a sport? It made no sense to me and just seemed so unnecessary.
Edit: I talked to my coach after practice and mentioned that if another situation happens where there is a prayer on the gym floor that I'd like to stay in the locker room. He said ok and that'd he would get more communication in that situation. What happened in the scrimmage was kinda last minute and again, not an official game, so it was a weird situation. But, we do play Christian schools, who I know pray on the court, so we'll see how that goes if the situation arises again. Thanks to everyone who recommended the FFRF. I don't know if I will just bring up this one situation or the whole prayer in the locker room thing over all. To me, it's always been normal, but maybe that's just cause I'm used to it and it may be a bigger issue than I think.
Posted Jan 4, 2023, 6:09 PM UTC · edited