Update: early and worried

I posted a couple of months ago about being worried about my baby’s 50% chance of Digeorge syndrome (22q microdeletion). Well, I got the CVS done the week before Christmas at just over 12 weeks. We found out baby was a girl and the FISH came back normal last week.

All that was left was the microarray results. And we got the devastating news yesterday morning. Because of our state laws, we only had a few days to decide what we wanted to do. We had a consultation for a termination today and the procedure will be on Friday.

I’m so, so sad. I don’t know how to cope. This was our only chance for natural conception, as we won’t knowingly take this risk again. We plan to look into IVF or donor sperm in a couple months after we mourn the loss of our little girl.

Right now, I just want to cry. I’m terrified for myself, for the procedure. And I’m sad she’ll never get to live the life I wanted for her. And I’m worried about being able to get pregnant again. Just scared and sad.