i am struggling

Okay, so this is going to be a rant because I am not okay. I have been binge drinking for over a year now and I have been really struggling to get a dry day in, I have basically been drinking almost everyday for a year. I look like a mess and I feel even worse. I have gained so much weight, my skin looks like parchment paper, i am puffy and gross and my self-esteem is non-existent. I have even considered taking my own life but I didn't come through because I have a 2 year old daughter. I need to stop. I need this to stop and I don't know how. Because I own a restaurant I have unlimited supply of alcohol, always. I know all the pros and the cons, theoretically i know what's the right things and I know what I should do. But when the evening comes I feel so compelled to pour myself a drink that I cannot stop it. People around me are starting to notice. I am embarrassed but not enough to stop. I am also too embarrassed to get help from a professional. Is there any hope for me or should I just end it all?