My sister sexually abused me my entire life. My parents know, and still have a relationship with her.

I cut her off in June of 2020, and haven't had any contact since. However, I do live with my parents, and they still have a relationship with her. Which is sort of funny... because she hadn't spoken to them in years, until I cut her off. Then she decided she needed them in her life again.

She was always openly verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. So I understand why that is something that sort of became tolerated amongst the family... but I guess I thought my parents didn't know about the sexual abuse?

Until I found out she was pregnant in fall of 2020, by pure accident. It really made the triggers a lot worse... realizing the person who had stolen my childhood, was having a child themself....

I ended up breaking down on the kitchen floor one night, and I told my mother why it was so distressing to me. I thought she didn't know.

All she said was "I thought we already dealt with this."

I guess it was never a secret.. and was just another thing that was tolerated from her.

She's had her baby since. And I've learned things about it, all against my will. I think people think I hate them both, and I wish bad things upon them... and that I don't struggle with not being able to be an aunt to my niece. But that's not true. I don't blame the baby, I don't have bad feelings towards the baby... but there is no world where I can safely have a relationship with that baby.

They still pressure me to meet it some day. They still will answer phone calls with my sister, on speaker, with me in the room, or trapped in a car with them.

My sister got my mom a #1 Grandma mug for Christmas.. which I learned to tolerate seeing in the cabinet. Then I accidentally turned it one day... it has a picture on the other side. You'd think it would just be of the baby. But it's mostly a selfie of my sister, with the baby in the corner.

I feel crazy for thinking that was a deliberate choice.

I feel crazy for not understanding how my parents can choose this monster, over me. Their excuse is "she's our kid"... but I am too.

I think what makes it extra hard... my mom was molested during her childhood by a family member too... so she understands exactly what I'm feeling, and exactly how these actions affect me.

I'm not even asking them to cut her off... just ... spare me the details of her life please. Leave rooms to take phone calls, or at least give me a heads up.

It's just really heavy to hold today. Thank you for reading.