full of anxiety today

I hate being a mom but then i wrestle with feelings of guilt and know I would die if anything bad happened to my babies. Being a mom is the most thankless job on the planet and even though my husband is one of the good ones i still feel like fucking wall paper all the time despite the compliments, his love for me and the fact that we share parenting duties equally. I can't wait for him to get off work so i can go running.