The Reeve Amidst The Green (20) Legally Binding (Second Half)
The routine on the Buds farm was surprisingly easy to get used to. Get up, wash up, and have breakfast, usually oats and honey, a thing Oddri in particular was wild about, and that Shuffa was certainly amenable to. Morning chores were next, and now included weeding Shuffa’s herb plot.
Washing dishes was easier than Shuffa had thought it would be; Charli’s dishes and cookware were all metal, a thing Shuffa still found a bit perturbing; all her life, metal had been a great treasure among the tribe, because the only way to get it was to steal it from humans. And now, here she was looking at Charli’s battered metal plates and bowls, a thing Charli regarded as rather shabby. Shuffa discovered that dishes could get done quickly if she were to do them every day, as opposed to Charli’s method of letting them stack up in the washtub until he was out of dishes; the only thing he normally washed every day was Oddri’s metal mixing bowl, out of which she ate most of her meals.
Laundry was a bit more of a task. Oddri’s clothes weren’t difficult, because Oddri’s clothes consisted of her one canvas skirt and top and a couple of loincloths that Charli had repurposed from old bedsheets. Charli’s clothes were more numerous, but they all seemed to be made of the tightly woven human fabric, and didn’t seem to need any particular care in washing. And this “washboard” invention did sort of make things easier than the “agitate with rocks” method that Shuffa had used all her life. True, the great large blankets that made up their bed nest were a bit more troublesome, but Oddri was of great help with her great long arms when it came to hanging them up, and when scrubbing on the washboard, her powerful arms seemed tireless. And Oddri seemed happy to help, when she wasn’t somewhere else on the farm helping Charli with whatever he did out there, or out inspecting Shuffa’s own plot for weeds.
At one point, Oddri had startled Shuffa by walking past her in the yard, and suddenly pausing and picking her UP, lifting her bodily into the air, and Shuffa had suddenly frozen still, not sure what to expect… and Oddri had hugged her and rubbed her nose against Shuffa’s cheek. “I’m glad you came here to stay with us,” said Oddri, who then put her down, patted her gently on the butt, and continued on her way.
************************
Seated atop their horses over on the east side of the Murrell ranch, three cowboys – the human Kel, and the goblins Teego and Domor – sat and watched across the fence in the distance. They could see Charli, sitting in the harvester, the horse pulling it alongside the oats, mowing them down. Walking along behind them was the towering Oddri, who would stop and gather the stalks and put them in the wagon, and then pull the wagon along a bit, gather more stalks, and throw them in, too.
The wagon had no horse to pull it. Oddri didn’t seem to care. The oats were being harvested and gathered at a prodigious rate. “They’re going to be done with that whole field before lunch,” observed Teego.
“Reckon you’re right,” said Kel. “Godsdamn, who’d have thought a man could tame an ogre like that, and put her to work on a farm?”
“Charli must have a pecker the size of a tree stump,” marveled Domor.
“You think he’s fuckin’er?” said Kel.
“Wouldn’t you?” said Domor, gesturing at the farm’s direction.
Kel and Teego looked at each other, and then observed Charli and Oddri in the distance.
“I reckon I might try,” said Kel.
“Lot of woman,” said Teego.
“But see how fast those crops are comin’ in?” said Kel. “Don’t know you could have a better farm wife.”
“Wonder how we’d get one over on the ranch?” wondered Domor.
Teego and Kel looked at Domor. “And what, may I ask, would she ride?” said Teego.
“Don’t know that horses COME that big,” observed Kel.
“Reckon we could break a droolok to saddle?” asked Domor.
Teego made a face. “I think I’d rather try to fuck an ogre,” he said. “Prob’ly safer. And likely more fun.”
*********************
Arnuvel was glad to hear the knock on his door. It meant that someone had finally gotten it through their heads that knocking was the polite way to get his attention. “Come in,” he called, expecting Barnaby or Cindra from down the hall… and to his surprise, seeing the Magician walk into his office, staff in hand. “May I be of assistance?” Arnuvel asked.
The Magician drew a roll of paper from his pocket and placed it on Arnuvel’s desk. “One of your people delivered this, yesterday. I was curious as to its significance.”
Arnuvel picked it up and looked at it. “It’s your marriage certificate,” he said. “Of course, it’s not valid until you sign it and return it to town hall. The other copy was for you. Jeeka and Tolla can sign with an X, if they have witnesses.”
“Jeeka and Tolla are capable of signing their names quite well,” said the Magician. “I was curious as to why we were issued a document for which we never applied.”
Arnuvel looked at the Magician, whose face was as ever impassive. “I took it upon myself to issue marriage certificates to sanctify specific marriages which have occurred in the recent past,” he said. “To give them legal standing.”
“Specific marriages?”
“Those involving a human participant and at least one goblin,” said Arnuvel. “We have a third marriage coming up that involves these criteria, and they wish it performed in the human manner, and I have been asked to officiate. In order to strengthen the legal standing of marriages between human and goblin… and in accordance with my proclamation regarding goblins… I have issued marriage certificates, so that these unions may be entered into the archives.”
“Proclamation regarding goblins?” said the Magician, his eyebrow doing a slow climb.
“Perhaps you were unaware,” said Arnuvel, with a thin smile. “The entirety of it is posted on the announcements board, just inside the front door. The short version is that I have recognized the legal personhood of all goblins who are of age, and declared them to be legally equivalent to humans of an equal age, in the eyes of Crown law. They aren’t citizens, but now have rights. It’s now illegal to kill them, among other things.”
The Magician stared at Arnuvel, who stared back. Finally, the Magician said, “What exactly are you playing at?”
“I am establishing legal precedent involving goblins,” said Arnuvel, “where none existed before. Someone has to do it. The goblins are here. They aren’t going anywhere. They’re living among the citizens of Refuge, and humans are living in Goblin Town. They’re marrying humans. I understand they’re even breeding with them.”
And Arnuvel paused. The Magician’s eyebrow dropped, but he said nothing.
“And the longer they remain recognized by Crown law,” Arnuvel continued, “the messier and more inconvenient it will be, the day someone decides to try to strip them of those rights, for the convenience or profit of humans. Assuming that day ever comes. Do you object?”
“I don’t object to goblins being people,” said the Magician. “I question the wisdom of drawing the Crown’s attention to what’s going on here.”
“A legitimate concern,” said Arnuvel smoothly. “At the moment, the Crown is blissfully unaware of anything other than the existence of a band of friendly goblins who engage in peaceful trade with the townsfolk. Oh, and of the existence of a friendly herb doctor they call the Magician. That was all in my preliminary report. It went out two days ago.”
The Magician’s expression grew clouded. “And how long until we can expect the Crown’s agents to come and see all this for themselves?”
“I am rather hoping they won’t,” said Arnuvel, steepling his fingers together on his desk. “At least, not anytime soon. You and the goblins are minor mentions, buried in twenty pages of tax records and reports of border incidents, of which there are none. I expect that the report will be noted, filed, and forgotten, given the absence of anything of any real interest in it at all, at least until the nineteenth page. You really aren’t a Dark Lord, are you? I’d hate to think I misjudged you, and opened the kingdom to attack, or anything.”
The Magician looked surprised, and at last sat down. “I had no ambitions of leading armies of conquest, or turning anyone into newts, or anything of that sort,” he said mildly. “If you think no one in the capitol is paying attention—”
“Then the first day someone comes out here and asks what all these goblins are doing here, I point out that I’ve been quietly filing reports the whole time,” said Arnuvel, smiling. “And whose fault is it if no one read them? And by that time, I’m rather hoping we have years of legal precedent of goblins’ rights, goblins running businesses, goblins owning property… I believe you helped one buy a plot of land north of town, did you not?”
“You know I did. The records are on file at the bank.”
“Excellent. Then we have already laid the groundwork to baffle and bedevil some idiot noble who comes in here and tries to take her farm away because goblins aren’t really people and can’t own land, haven’t we?”
“You are surprisingly egalitarian on the subject of goblins.”
“I am charged with the management and prosperity of the town, sir,” said Arnuvel. “And thanks to you, the prosperity of this town involves goblins. They’re here. They aren’t leaving. And there’s that much more money moving around because of them. I can preserve that, and we can call it the natural order of things… or I can try to dismantle it and turn back the clock, and make an enemy of you and every goblin within thirty miles, AND economically devastate the town of Refuge. Which would you suggest I do?”
The Magician stared. And then, finally, smiled.
“Are you going to have your wives sign that document?” said Arnuvel. “As I said, it’s not part of the record until it’s signed and in the archives…”
******************
Oddri noted that Shuffa seemed off, when they got together for lunch. “Something wrong?” she asked. “Mustard is looking good. No weeds. Growing fast. Is something not right?”
“I … need help,” said Shuffa. “Again.”
“What kind of help?” said Oddri. Charli looked up from his lunch.
“I… didn’t plan things right,” said Shuffa. “There’s plenty of mustard – it’s growing fast – but… I’ve… messed something else up, now.”
“Can we fix it?” asked Oddri.
“I don’t know. I need fruit juice,” said Shuffa. “A lot of it. And… I don’t know where to get it. And I don’t have much money. I thought I had enough juice, that I brought with me. But to make the most money out of my mustard… I’m going to need a lot of fruit juice.”
“What does fruit juice have to do with mustard?” asked Charli.
Shuffa bit her lip. “I can’t tell you that,” she said. “It’s … a secret. The making of the mustard sauce. It’s a goblin thing.”
“You’re not going to sell the seeds?” said Oddri. “You know how to make the mustard sauce?”
“So you’re going to harvest your mustard,” said Charli, “and mix it with fruit juice the secret goblin way, and that makes mustard sauce?”
Shuffa nodded.
“Makes sense,” said Charli. “You can get a lot more for goblin mustard sauce than you can for just the seeds and greens. And last I heard, those were sellin’ pretty good at the dry goods.”
“That was my plan,” said Shuffa. “I need money to pay the Magician for my land. For the first installment. For the winter. And… I need all the money I can get. Money I can get for mustard sauce. And … now I can’t make it. I’ll have to sell the seeds. For less money.”
“What sorta fruit juice you need?”
“I have stainberry juice,” said Shuffa. “I have jugs of it, out in my wickiup. I use it to make black mustard. But any sweet fruit juice will work. Anything that … what’s the word? Anything you can make rumba out of will work. The fruit juice drink that makes you silly? I forget the human word.”
“Wine, y’mean?” said Charli. Shuffa nodded.
“Would grapes work?” asked Oddri.
“Grapes make good rumba,” said Shuffa. “It would work. Is there a place I can buy grape juice? Or wine, in more than just a bottle? And how much does it cost?”
Oddri looked at Charli. “What about the grapes out behind the barley?” she said.
“Grapes behind the barley?” said Shuffa, her long ears suddenly elevating.
“I was thinkin’ the same thing,” said Charli. “There’s white grapes growin’ wild out behind the field where the barley was. I thought I wanted to make wine once, but the first frost killed my crop. I gave up on grapes, but those vines just won’t die. They’re sproutin’ grapes right now. Me and Oddri go out and snack on’m when we’re out in the fields, sometimes. Would white grape juice work?”
Hope sprang to life in Shuffa’s heart. “If it’s sweet, it would work,” she said. “If there’s enough. Can you show me these grapes?”
*******************
Two hours later, the trio stood out in the barn, around one of Charli’s barrels, which was filled with crushed white grapes. The sweet smell was overpowering. “They need to sit for the next three weeks,” said Shuffa. “Somewhere indoors, somewhere dark.”
“Three weeks ain’t gonna make wine out of those grapes,” said Charli.
“It won’t need to be wine,” said Shuffa. “Three weeks of the waiting will be enough to make the mustard sauce. And that should be about when the mustard plants are ready to harvest. The seeds will be ready. And I can pay the Magician. And not lose my farm.” Shuffa looked up at Oddri and Charli. “I owe you. Again.”
Charli grinned. “Hell, give us a jar of that mustard when you’re done, and I’ll call it even,” he said. “I can’t afford mustard at the store, and that’s some good eatin’ on a ham sandwich.”
“Mustard is good on ham?” said Oddri.
“It sure is,” Charli said with a smile. He glanced at Shuffa. “Better make it a big jar o’ mustard. If Oddri likes it, we could be off like we were with the honey, all over again.”
Oddri smiled. Charli picked up a mallet and retrieved the barrel lid, and prepared to reseal the barrel.
“I… do you want the … secret?” said Shuffa.
Oddri and Charli looked at Shuffa, and Charli paused in sealing the barrel lid. “What secret?”
“The secret of mustard,” said Shuffa. “I didn’t… want to tell you. I was afraid you would steal my secret, and then I wouldn’t be able to pay for my farm. But you’re not going to. And you’ve helped me. Again. And now… I’m ashamed.”
“You are ashamed?” said Oddri. “Because you needed help? And we helped you?”
“Because I didn’t trust you.”
“Don’t need to trust anyone,” said Charli, hammering the barrelhead into place. “Shuffa, if this had cost us any money, that’d be one thing. But those grapes weren’t doin’ nothin’ out there. Might as well be put to use. And I’m just glad we could fix a problem before it got to be a bigger one.”
“I owe you so much,” said Shuffa, miserably.
“Pay us in mustard, then,” said Oddri impatiently. “Pay with washing. With laundry. With the clean house, like we agreed. Maybe do that tongue thing on me again?”
“Oddri,” said Charli, “Remember, we weren’t going to—”
“For her,” said Shuffa, defiantly, “I will lick her until she screams. And maybe you, too. For fun!”
Charli blinked. “Well,” he said, “I reckon that’s all right, then. Have a care with Oddri, though. We already got cracks in a couple of the bedroom windows…”
https://www.newgrounds.com/dump/draw/f71835bff7f8fbb67b1d0891566df761
Back to the first half of this chapter:
https://www.reddit.com/r/GoblinGirls/comments/103iv6g/the_reeve_amidst_the_green_20_legally_binding/
Ahead to Chapter 21!
Posted Jan 5, 2023, 6:18 PM UTC · edited