Source
r/offmychest•
kyacase

My mother is spying on me and I just found out

I (20 F) am staying with my mother and working for the next couple months. I don’t drink, I don’t have guys over, I don’t do drugs. I have never had a problem with any of those things. However my mother and I don’t get along at all. The entire reason I’m even staying with her is because she won’t let me go home. She wants me to pay part of her mortgage and her groceries for her “kindness”. She’s always been violent, manipulative and screechy but she has never spied on me as far as I know.

Today her tenant came upstairs and said something in passing about a camera and how my mother knew I was waxing my no no zone. She even told the tenant to take the wax away. THAT WAS BETWEEN ME AND MY COOCHIE. I walk around naked when nobody’s home all the time. I feel so creeped out. It would be less weird if my mother and I had a good relationship but I don’t trust her to keep anything like that that to herself. She has an only fans and I’m worried she’ll put it on there.

Update: I told my family about it and it looks like I’m moving to a large city and staying with my (former) step dad for a bit. They’re in a legal battle over his house and I offered to help him with my step siblings and with the court thing. I’m buying a plane ticket and basically leaving in the middle of the night in a couple weeks. Once she finds out I’m helping him she’s probably going to try to black mail or threaten me but I’m going to change my number and disappear from her life.

Someone told me to yell at her about it and loose my shit but she’s physically a lot stronger than me and I’m not fond of screaming matches or being beaten up. I’ll probably leave her a letter

Posted Jan 16, 2023, 12:04 PM UTC · edited

13842
itinnochi•

What do you mean she won’t let you go home? You’re an adult, LEAVE. If you can’t drive get an Uber. If you don’t have money explain the situation to a friend and ask them for help. Walk if you have to, your mother is unreasonable and this shit is crazy.

146
kyacaseOP•

I live another province over and I only came to help her move. I was only supposed to be staying with her for a couple weeks to help her get settled. Before that was living with my father because I’m a uni student and I was planing on moving out as soon as I got back but she convinced my father to not have me (i was going to be driven home). My mother lives in a super isolated community 14 hours away from anyone i know or even ask for help. It’s kinda complicated sorry for not being more specific

45
aquavenatus•

Call your father NOW and tell him about your mother’s camera, and that the tenants are watching it, too! I’m sure he’ll rush over and pick you up.

118
dailyEdible•

Are you typing this post on a phone? What is stoping you from contact your father? Or the police even?

21
kyacaseOP•

My father wants me to have a job, which I have here. He doesn’t want me home

10
shadpantsu•

Did your father tell you that, or did your mother? Because if he isnt' the one who told you that, then your mother is lying to you.

And job or not, you should explain the situation to him. He is your father. He should do something.

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1
Baph0metX•

She is a creep, she violated you, you have no obligation to help her any more. What she did was terrible, and a literal crime. You are completely justified to cut contact with her. Sorry you’re going through this. I think you should tell your dad and maybe he can help you think of what to do next

14
gotmydogsout•

you can escape call a friend or your father you are not trapped there

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Tallgirl4u•

Your mother sounds like a predator and you need to leave

43
ijeanofdreammie•

Cut ties for a while. Your mother sounds toxic AF.

40
kyacaseOP•

Yeah that’s definitely the next move

13
ferraflora•

Hey OP I don’t wanna alarm you but my brother’s stepmom had a similar story with her own mom and it turned out she was supplying pictures and stuff (like that camera feed) to a much older man who was the mother’s drug dealer. She was doing this to convince him to trade her 15 year old daughter as his girlfriend (more live sx slve as it was explained to me) for a large quantity of drugs. There was even a deal for more if she had his kids, more is she married him if HE wanted to - literally layers of conditions. And she almost pulled it of without her daughter realizing until she pushed too hard when the girl didn’t want a second date or to move in with him.

I’m not saying this is gonna happen to you, but the neighbors know way more about your coochie than is probably legal. Please extract yourself as soon as possible and keep us updated that you’re safe.

4
kyacaseOP•

Thanks for the advice, my mother isn’t an addict but she’d do anything for extra money. She has a history of selling drugs and has used girls in shitty situations in the community to do it. She has a really prestigious job at a university so people don’t really care if she does fucked up shit

1
candycoatedcoward•

Holy violation, batman!

Get out get out get out. Do not give her another dime. Look into resources for DV.

10
ffyam•

You know what she did is wrong. You know you do not need to stay nor ask for her permission to go. Get out of there.

8
Questn4Lyfe•

OP - this is all shades of wrong. But now is not the time to be nice. Flip the b*tch switch on. Channel everything your mother has put on you namely being manipulative and screechy.

First off, I'd go through the house and look for the cameras especially in the bathrooms and your bedroom. Once you find them, destroy them. She'll screech that you're destroying her property but she's filming you without your consent. Be sure to bring that up to her.

Also be sure to tell her that you will have absolutely no problem going to the authorities because of this. Oh and if she b*tches about it - tell her this:

"You want me to pay part of your mortgage? You can forget that. Groceries? Yeah forget that too."

Darlin' - you need to flip everything back on her. Manipulation only goes so far when you allow it. Flip that b*tchswitch on NOW! Don't be afraid to make a scene either.

8
kyacaseOP•

I couldn’t find anymore cameras but I think the one she uses has audio which is technically illegal in Canada so I have a way to take her to court

1
Glittering_Kiwi_8312•

It's time to leave. She's trying to hold you prisoner.

6
jensmith20055002•

Call the cops, or whatever law enforcement you have. Call an attorney. Call your dad. Call an Uber. Get out! Run! This is terrifying.

4
thisvidhurtsme•

That's definitely not legal. She can't hold you there against your will. I hope you're doing ok right now.

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trippiler•

Pretty sure that's illegal

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1
OnOurBeach•

She is toxic. You need to get away from her. Call the cops on her if she uses video of you in any way.

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Prestigious-Toe-9942•

nah fuck that. my mom is the same way. i moved across the country cause it was that bad. but i went back home to visit family and my brother and sis in law left my gift at one of my aunts house. i had to fly back but my sis in law told me that my mom UNWRAPPED my fucking gift and tried to wrap it back together. like what the absolute FUCK is wrong with people. i demoted her to egg donor because i’m tired of her crossing boundaries. fuck that

1
kyacaseOP•

My parents make me feel crazy. They do something horrible and then they justify it by saying “I put a roof over your head” or “I pay for groceries”. Which is all true but that icky feeling is still there. Not everything is always horrible either which is the worst part. Im terrified when they’re kind to me because I know that it’s going to end or it’s because they want something. Parents can be monsters and I wish we had better ones

6
Prestigious-Toe-9942•

GIRL my mom does the same thing. but remember, YOU don’t owe them ANYTHING. they brought you into this world. you can’t congratulate them for putting a roof over your head and doing the bare minimum to take care of you. my mom used to use that against me when i flew back home and she paid for my ticket. she was always like “i paid for your ticket so you have to stay with me cause your dad isn’t family” (they’re divorced)

but yeah, i can definitely tell when my mom is being fake, not nice, fake. she does it to get a reaction out of me and play the victim. fuck that.

that ick feeling is guilt. don’t let them guilt trip you. mine got to the point where my mom used to tell me she’s sick and dying and one day she won’t be here anymore and she ended up getting cancer and i couldn’t give a fuck. she used that against me. fuck THAT.

i think i saw somewhere that you’re still in school. get your diploma, find a stable job, and get the fuck out.

sorry, i’m still pissed about my mom opening my gift. she’s just done some dumb shit for the past couple of months and i’m fed up with it.

1
kyacaseOP•

My mom is pretty similar, the fakeness in front of strangers is the worst because everyone thinks she’s this amazing person but she’s a horrible bitter violent person when nobody’s looking. Anyone she’s been around for long enough usually picks up on it but it’s so frustrating

Also thank you, and I’m sorry your mom violated your privacy

2
Prestigious-Toe-9942•

yep, i hate when people come up to me and is like, “OMG your mom is the sweetest and nicest! i LOVE her so much” and i looked at them like really?🥴 yeah, everyone, i mean everyone in my family knows exactly how she is and they know she likes to pick fights so people stay away from her. but i get it

1
BicycleMinute8333•

Oh my god your mother is a crazy user. Move out asap. Don’t give her anymore money. Save your money for yourself. i get the feeling there is more your not willing to share.

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Necessary_Study_6610•

I would say youre more likely to be taken seriously since youre a woman so do take advantage of every help you can get. Very similar thing is currently happening to me and everyone calls me crazy. I hope you could move out. Goodluck reddit stranger!

1
kyacaseOP•

Thank you friend :)

1
nocouture•

You're not a child anymore. You can do what you want. Make it temporary or just go live somewhere else because your mother sounds terrible and she doesn't deserve you.

And also your "NO NO ZONE"? what are you 4 years old!? Jeez im starting to think your mother stunted your growth.

0
kyacaseOP•

Sorry I’m trying to cope with humour

2