Today is a terrible day to know how to read
Posted Jan 21, 2023, 3:18 AM UTC
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Her post history shows someone who is obsessed with "Dr. Squatch" to the point of derangement. Hard to tell if it's a truly unhinged troll or an overzealous viral marketer.
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I don't think a marketer would want to associate their product with genital irritation.
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It's someone breaking into the sparsely populated role of soap troll. If you go through her post history, the soap she supposedly used on her "squishy" contains black sand. I don't know of any woman who's going to use a soap with an exfoliant in it on her genitals.
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People do some dumb things, idk, it could be a troll but I'm sure someone has rubbed sand soap up in there, at some point.
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Omg, that's horrifying
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to be fair, i’m pretty sure people have put way worse things than the wrong soap near/in their genitalia
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^(I hate that I know this... thanks book boxes)
There are definitely right shaped soaps that are not for inserting, that have been inserted, because who needs warnings & instructions.
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Idk, I exfoliate my vulva. It helps prevent ingrown hairs. I wouldn't use it on my "squishy" parts though...
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I checked and she made a post a while back on the Dr. Squatch subreddit and when someone said the word squishy, she got upset because she doesn’t like when a guy says it and equated it to “its sort of like someone who is not a minority saying a slur”… 🙄
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I'm guessing dadaist performance art
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I call one of my dogs "Squishy" because his face is squishy but this post is weird AF. What kind of grown woman use that phrase to describe their genital area? And why is it necessary to share those details with your boyfriend's friend?
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I call my dogs toys squishies. I also say it while tickling my niblings & godkids. This entire thing has made me deeply uncomfortable.
I'm hoping this is the worst troll, but if not I'm betting it's someone in some sort of daddy dom/little girl BDSM situation. Based primarily on the childish way she refers to her genitalia and the general tone of the rest of her comments, this definitely reads like an adult pretending to be a young child and forcing everyone else to interact with her kinks. There's also the very intentional childishness of the reddit profile figure, which I wouldn't generally give credence except that it looks like a toddler with a toy.
Admittedly, while I think this person is an asshole regardless, Thibby's response is...a lot for what's ultimately just an incredibly uncomfortable use of an otherwise innocent word. So I've concocted a possibly outrageous theory that covers all bases centering on my assumption and due in part to a remark she made about a failed polycyle with Thibby.
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If they were in a DD/lg dynamic why would he put them on a break for using that language? 🤔
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Forcing kinks on to non consenting individuals is a big "no no" in the kink community. If she is going to straight up refuse to agree to do this that is a big ted flag
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I commented on the original, not long before it got locked. I’m just going to say it again here:
I frankly dread to think what terms she uses for intimate times. Because yelling out “pound my squishy harder Norman!” has to lead to squishy dick
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This was an unnecessary attack. My fiancé might end up suing you for damages because I'm pretty sure I'm celibate now.
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Can I sue you for damages because I laughed too hard and traumatized my cats? /j
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"Squishy's about to hit bikini bottom, Norman! Sponge me, harder!"
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Jesus wept, why did you make me read this with my only two eyes.
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The whole post made me laugh hysterically but your comment and the person who said their ex used to call a woman being aroused "sporting a moisty" has me howling. This has to be a troll right? I'm not sure I'm ready for a world with a couple called Thibby and Sydders
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Does not help at all that when I hear the name Norman I think of Willem Defoe in Spider-Man.
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It reminds me of Finding Nemo! I can’t remember the exact quote though
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Lmao if I think about this during sex I'm definitely suing 😂
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You should check their post history... bizarre. Reads like an 11 y/o boy masquerading as an unhinged middle aged woman
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Someone said "talk about pot calling the kettle black" to her and she said "don't bring race into it."
Decently skilled troll, I could believe this was an actual lunatic.
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I saw that one - so silly!
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middle aged woman
26... well guess I'm going to curl up and die then.
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Oof. Then what am I considered? I just turned 41!
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I read somewhere that middle aged was 45 to 65. So you're young.
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Lol. Thanks😊
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I meant that’s what it reads like - an 11 year old boy playing at being a middle aged woman. As in it does not sound like it was written by a 26 year old woman.
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Same and I’m barely 28!
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[deleted]
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I have questions and I don’t want them answered.
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Same 😄
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The weird thing is, she’s apparently uncomfortable with men saying it. Someone said “hope your squishy feels better” and she’s like “please don’t say that, it makes me uncomfortable” and they replied asking what she meant and then there’s this
I am not okay with this turn of events. And by that, I mean my discovery of this person.
Edit and it gets worse
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There is either something deeply and inexplicably wrong with this person or they are the single funniest human alive.
They have a comment on a soap post (from a soap reddit they are very active in commenting on??) About how they were sick of the soap reddit (??) being such a boys club.
Getting heated with the gender politics of a soap subreddit is the funniest thing I've read today
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This person is not well, is all I've gathered from all her comments.
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Then she tried to compare it to minorities and slurs 💀💀
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I spent too long reading this squishy thread 😆
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…. How does someone get confused when a soap labelled “deep grit” hurts their vag
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Just reading your sentence hurts.
ETA: as soon as I hit reply, I realised it sounded snarky against you. It’s not. It’s “deep grit” and the thought of using it for that general region. Ouch. No thank you. Not today, not ever.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/DrSquatch/comments/102qf5x/has_anyone_else_experienced_this_i_used_this/
My butt squishy hurts from just reading this
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Why on earth was she using it on her “squishy” in the first place! My vulva just shrivelled up and died at the thought 😖
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Lmao this adds so much context.
Black Sand Heavy Grit
Doesn't read like the kind of soft soap I'd imagine anyone would want on a sensitive area. I have to believe this person is a genius troll I'm gonna lose some faith in humanity if they're not.
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Lmao 🤣
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butt squishy
How dare you make me so uncomfortable
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After doing some research this seems to be u/fhesdj trolling on an alternate account. It seems obvious after looking at both accounts comment and post history
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How did you figure it out? (Genuinely curious)
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Also both accounts brought up race in relation to who uses the word “squishy”
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Both started getting very active on similar subs 18 days ago. u/fhesdj commented that he was British and could use the word cunt in this post and the oop said the same exact thing about her friends in the comments. They’re also the only two accounts active in this sub r/readysteadycook.
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Epic Reddit moment
Also wrong lol
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[deleted]
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Was it even necessary to specify WHERE on her body the soap was irritating her?
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I can see some value in saying it was irritating on sensitive skin rather than in general. I don't think there's any need to clarify what "sensitive skin" means, though, especially if you're still going to be euphemistic about it.
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I think being a bit euphemistic is fine, you just need to use euphemisms that people will actually understand. Like "downstairs" or "private area." There are so many commonly used ones, why would you try to make up a new one and corrupt innocent words? If you take over "squishy" to mean genitals then what are you going to use when you mean "squishy?" It's a slippery slope.
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Okay. Dr. Squatch makes manly soap. Let’s see… a lot of them are very exfoliating so I can see how that can be irritating. Urban Dictionary calls a flaccid penis a squishy. Sydders and Thibby both feel like UK nicknames to me for Sydney and Thibaut/Thibodeau.
So. What I’m getting from this is the OOP either calls her vagina a squishy or she’s trans and has a penis. The former just means that Thibby is weird and has word hangups. +moist squishy+ The latter means that Thibby is transphobic and that’s not a good look on anyone.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
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She mentions there was a failed polycule between either her, Norman, & Thibby or all four of them.
My (admittedly weird) theory is she's got a daddy dom/little girl thing going that Thibby has previously expressed a distaste for. Hence the failed relationship. Thibby reacted so strongly to her using "squishy" to refer to her genitalia because she violated a previously set boundary by slipping into her little persona during this conversation.
Edit: autocorrect really hates the word polycule.
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There’s also this this completely unhinged post where she gets upset at a random dude who uses the term back to her. Having read that, I think Thibby is just sick of her shit.
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They could also just not want to talk about that subject with friends girlfriend
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Tbh, looking at the OOPs posts and comments, that person is completely unhinged. So I think you’re right.
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Not wanting to hear about someone's genitals, that they talk about like a small child, doesn't make you weird and/or transphobic.
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I was speculating from a purely Urban Dictionary definition pov. Tbh, I have since poked around in the OOPs post/comment history and I frankly think Thibby is just sick of her shit.
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Thanks for this. I thought Dr Squatch was a made up name for a real doctor that recommended the soap to her.
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In that oop’s comment history, they feel that men using the word “squishy” is a slur, so…..
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The visceral reaction I had reading this for the first time
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OOP should never be allowed around a keyboard ever again. “Squishy” is bad enough, but the names are truly heinous and unforgivable. She seems like someone who loves to be twee and cute, but is really just eye-rolling cringe-inducing.
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Sounds like an ageplay kink and a "forcing people to partake in your kink without their consent" kink to me
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All of these names are so ugly. I hope no one names their child Norman or thibby
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Except for Norman Reedus. May he rule over the land of the Dead forever.
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I'm British and while I am absolutely not posh in the slightest, I went to uni with people who totally would have had friends called Thibby and Sydders. Like the private boarding school types always have ludicrous names, my friend had a really dumb name too lol. Read it in posh a British accent and it makes a tiny bit more sense lmao.
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I don’t care what age they are, these people are not adults
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I think using “squishy” in this context is weird but I’m not sure storming out of the room is proportionate. Like it’s one of those things where I’d just think “That’s…a weird way of saying that” and change topic
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I’m betting that everyone else in the story was too stupid to understand Thibby’s actual explanation for being upset. Which could likely be “I asked how you liked your new soap from the brand you’re weirdly obsessed with, to be POLITE - I didn’t ask to hear about your fuckin genital rash.”
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Absolutely, I’d be pretty off put if that was the response I got too
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I’ve discovered a new word I hate more than moist now
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Ick. One of my favorite comics features a small child who says "skish" (for "squish") when she wants a group hug with her parents. This kind of ruins it for me now.
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I thought of this too.
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My cousin has a cat named Squishy. Huh.
As a euphemism for vulva, it's not a bad one. There are definitely worse ones.
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Thibby. Sydders. Squishy.
What in the devil is happening here
You know, strokes run in my family. If I had read this while my neighbor was burning his toast, which happens practically every other day, I'd have probably hopped on the phone to Emergency Services.
There’s a Facebook group I’m in called “someone call a bondulance for I am having a stronk” and I think this post would fit perfectly there.
Ha!
This is so weirdly like…I don’t even know…childlike??? This gives me weird anime “I really, really like cupcakes” or whatever that video was vibes lolol
I knew a 50 year old man that called all vagina "bugs". Super weird. Super sad for his teen daughter he was parenting alone.
I remember a fantasy novel where the main character referred to vaginas as sweet pockets.
Bleh!🤢
I read an absurd excerpt from a creative writing assignment that described sex as atomic bombs from his submersible that was traversing the ugly woman's chasm. Made me regret having eyes.
I would rather hear people use any of the terms in Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo by The Bloodhound Gang as a standard than read “sweet pocket” or “squishy” again
Hot Pockets was already taken
That’s what my brother and all my boy cousin’s called their penises when they were like preschoolers. Well, they usually said “buggy” but occasionally it was shortened to “bug”.
It’s a lot more creepy to hear about a grown man doing it. And that is a fact that I never needed to know.
Sorry. I learned it on accident when he asked me advice for his daughter. I had no clue what he was talking about at first. He also had a weird name for period I can't remember. His poor daughter was 14.
My cousins were taught to call their penses 'pee bugs'. I hated it as a child and I hate it even more now.
My Grandma and all of my Aunt’s referred to it as a bug too. I always thought it was funny.
I always thought what if he daughter is terrified of bugs?
Video??
https://youtu.be/xhjZqRTKWeo maybe this works but this is immediately the tone of voice I thought of
So glad it’s not just me 😂
I'm just happy nobody is named "Mel" for once
I object to this!
I'm so sorry Mel, pleas don't steal my boyfriend and have twins with him!
I'm married and childfree, you're fine lmao
Thank you! I barley got past the name to the squishy part.
Every fibre of my being is like "it's ridiculous for her boyfriend to react like this to a WORD his friend doesn't like" but also thinking of someone referring to their vagina as their squishy makes me physically ill so idk.
Wouldn't have been surprised to see "and our son X Æ A-12" in there somewhere.
grimes would definitely call it a squishy. elon musk would call it something that makes it sound like a rancid hellhole, or whatever incels call it.
🤯
Tbh based on comments it sounds like a weird kink thing
There is a point when a British person hits a certain level of poshness and they start using nicknames like Sydders and words like Squiffy (as in 'we all got rather squiffy with Sydders don't you know dahling'). I believe this is an example of such a phenomenon in the wild.
Sounds like a spell from harry Potter
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