[1745] Dark Eyes

Hey everyone!

I'm very new to creative writing and have written Dark Eyes as a practice piece in order to start learning the craft in more depth.

I'm eager to get critiques on how the story reads, how the descriptions land, creative writing skills/techniques I may not have used, and just the overall thoughts from those more skilled in the space. I'm less concerned about the story and plot elements given this was more of a practice compared to a story I'm going to continue. I'd like to write more sci-fi/fantasy content, so this is probably a terrible piece of horror if it even counts as that! Again, I more care about the structure, grammar, semantics etc. etc.

I'd like to contribute to this forum regularly, so mods please let me know if I've missed any rules or if my previous critiques aren't up to scratch.

Thanks in advance!

The story: Dark Eyes - Google Doc

My critiques:

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