Tired ig

I know it’s something we all have to do but I’m tired of paying for everything. I see kids my age doing teenage stuff, like going out whenever and spending money recklessly and I wish I could live that kind of life. I’ve been finically supporting myself since I turned 17. Light, cable, rent, food(barley), phone bills, transportation, etc Working 10 hour shifts because if I even slip up once, I have no one to fall back on, just me and my sister. No financial help at ALL. Everyone’s telling me to go to school and not work so much but I literally have to or I won’t eat. What ever I don’t spend on rent/bills goes to savings because surprise surprise, my “parents” didn’t save up a dime for me. Maybe I think too much or just finding something to complain about but I’m gonna be 19 in a handful of months and I can’t remember the last time I went out, and maybe that’s my fault. I can’t spend money without being worried that something might go wrong and I’ll end up homeless or in debt. I just wish we didn’t have to literally pay to survive. Everything has a price tag on it. Sometimes I wish I was born into a family with money so I didn’t have so much financial stress. Maybe it’s about balance and I just have to figure out how to get there and maybe somehow it will get easier but I can’t imagine living like this for much longer, I’ve been in the struggle since I could read. All my life has been graveling bye, trying to stay afloat. Having less, eat, sleeping and breathing poverty lmao. Sometimes I just wish money wasn’t always a worry full thought in my head. I can’t imagine living like this for much longer, I’m not suici@l or anything, just extremely burnt out and a little defeated. I’m gonna delete this but I just wanted to say it sucks lol