Source
r/pregnant•
Smallios

12 Weeks, no heartbeat

Content Warning

Guys, what do I do? We were so excited for this morning’s 12 week appointment. The doctor couldn’t pick up a heartbeat on the Doppler, which is pretty common this early, but it made me really nervous. She went into the hallway to get the ultrasound machine. As she was scanning, she was so quiet. I could tell something was wrong. It wasn’t moving. There was no visible flutter like there was at the last one. At 9 weeks 3 days we had a heartbeat. It looks like it stopped about a week later. They’re calling later today to schedule my D&C. I hate this. I don’t know what to do. My body has gotten so weird, my clothes don’t fit, but I’m not going to have a baby. I’m basically an entire trimester pregnant but also I’m not? What do I do? What can I expect? God this is sad. Sorry guys. Just needed to vent. Long drive home from the hospital.

Posted Feb 17, 2023, 5:18 PM UTC

6723
melissasue22477•

I've lost 5 babies this exact way. My heart is with you ❤️ take time to grieve, in whatever way you need. It slowly gets easier with time but everyone heals at a different pace. I'm so sorry for your loss.

30
NarcanNotNarcant•

Same thing happened to me! All good at 9 weeks, no heartbeat at 12. I had my D&C at the end of December after using miso (medicine-induced miscarriage) to try to pass everything first. Just got a positive test today, about 9 weeks after finding out Baby #1 had no heartbeat. It sucks, but it happens to so many of us. Get through this, and then you can give it another go when you're ready. 💙

DM me any time if you're feeling overwhelmed and need to talk.

19
SmalliosOP•

Thank you ❤️ I’m doing pretty well all things considered. I’ve really enjoyed being pregnant, it’s been such a joyous time in our lives, I’m trying to focus on that. The fact that I CAN get pregnant. Congratulations on your positive!!! That’s absolutely wonderful!! Brings me hope, I’m looking forward to trying again.

6
psipolnista•

Take this with a grain of salt because it’s the internet but I often see online that you’re pretty fertile after a miscarriage so you have a good chance at getting pregnant again if you’re comfortable and ready to try early. I’m sorry I don’t have any way to help you, I’ve never experienced anything like this but at least there is hope for another :)

2
SmalliosOP•

That’s a really lovely thing to hear, thank you for sharing it ❤️

1
Imaaki•

What an absolutely amazing mindset to have! This is one step in your journey and I wish you all of the best for the future ❤️

2
tatogb25•

So sorry for your loss. My first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage and it’s devastating. You may find some support and comfort from r/miscarriage, but give yourself time and space to grieve this. It’s horrible and nothing compares to it. Keep your support systems close and find a good therapist if that’s available to you. Think of ways you may want to honor this loss going forward

7
AutumnB2022•

I'm so sorry. Missed miscarriages are really cruel. 🤗 Just do whatever you need to do to get through the next few days. Eat sushi if you want to, or hibernate and get lost in a box set. There's no "right way" to do this. Just do whatever passes the time. Once you get through the physical part, you can grieve and process. Would you like to name the baby? Some people do, some people don't. Again- just go with what feels right to y'all.

The only thing I'd advise you to consider is whether you would want to do genetic testing. Doing a D&C means that they can take a sample of the baby's tissue and have it tested for chromosomal anomalies. If you think that would help give you closure/if that information may be helpful in the future, let your doctor know that you want to do it and then let them know again when you check in for the procedure.

I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

5
SmalliosOP•

Thank you so much, that was all such good advice ❤️

2
AutumnB2022•

Wishing you well. 🤗

1
kfm2319•

So sorry for your loss OP. I fear this every ultrasound 💔

5
KTcat9428 | FTM | 💙 C-section 12/9 | 🇺🇸•

So, so sorry. 💔 I felt angry during my miscarriage for all the reasons you described—my body is weird and my boobs hurt and all these other symptoms I’m still enduring, but I don’t get a baby? I have to restart all the way from square one after I had gone so far along? All of your feelings are valid and I hope you can heal quickly. ❤️

4
SmalliosOP•

Yeah, I gained a fair amount of weight and my pants don’t fit and I used to be an A cup and at the moment I’m a C. Really the worst thing right now is looking in the mirror. I feel like I look so pregnant. I think that’s going to be hard for a while ❤️

2
Apprehensive-Elk7898•

I'm so sorry, OP. It sounds from your other comments that this hasn't discouraged you, which is great. You're right, it is great news that you can conceive, and you'll get there! <3 lots of love to you, please keep us updated.

3
Reyzillah•

I’m so so sorry. This same exact thing happened to me at the same gestation. Our missed miscarriage was in November and it was a hard experience. The book “unexpecting” helped me work through a lot of feelings I couldn’t understand. Going through something like this it’s hard to see the other side, but a D&C is fast and it’s amazing how quickly the body heals. The heart takes longer. We just found out we are pregnant again, only 2.5 months after our miscarriage and I’m very nervous but at the same time even more thankful and looking forward to the prospect of a family than ever before. There will be light at the end of your tunnel I know it ❤️.

3
SmalliosOP•

Thank you for the book suggestion! I really appreciate all of the support. Y’all are amazing. I hope to be back here with happy posts again soon ❤️

1
CrazyCatLady_2•

Im so sorry for your loss!

Take your time to grief and you two will have another try and it might be perfect then.

It is unfair and no rhyme to it. Sometimes Mother Nature is simply says this is not viable and ends it.

Sending blessings your way and feel hugged.

2
Hereforadvice33•

I am so sorry 😞 this is heartbreaking. Thinking of you my friend 🤍

2
mochiko_noriko•

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's okay to feel all the feelings, I hope you are able to get some therapy or support.

2
Wintertime13•

I am so sorry. There’s nothing you could have did to prevent this. Please seek therapy if you feel you need it. Give yourself the time and safe space to mourn.

2
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