[2411] The Gray Cat: You Sound So Sure (revised)

Edit: On the off-chance anyone's coming in late, I'll be going back to the drawing board with this one and making some extensive changes, so probably no need for any in-depth commentary on this version. I'm still leaving it up since I've posted it in the first place, but I think I basically have what I need for this one.

Hey. Here's a revised version of a thing I posted here a while back. I'm still not fully sold on the sci-fi version of this story, but I've got crits expiring today, and so I wanted to see if I could rework this to address some of the very valid points from last time.

Back then I got several notes about the worldbuilding feeling hollow and anemic, so in this one I tried to give it more texture. The unfortunate backside is that this did do a number on the pacing, and this version isn't as lean as the previous one, which is a bit of a shame IMO. Hopefully it's not too sedate, but you'll be the judges of that.

Enough preamble, here's my summary from last time:

After losing his mom, eleven-year-old Sky has to stay with his dad for a while. His dad who happens to own and operate the Gray Cat, supposedly the best salvage ship in the sector, living a nomadic life that's a far cry from the upper-class existence Sky is used to. Then there's the little fact that they've never met each other before. Now Sky will have to carve out a place for himself on the Gray Cat alongside his estranged father Emmer, easy-going Garrison and the mysterious Hannah...

In other words, think Firefly for kids, just with less violence and cowboy hats and more family drama, haha.

Story: Here

Crits:

[1369] October Surprise, epilogue

[1570] Sophia and the Colour Weavers: Ch.1 (Take 2)