I didn't know SAHM= maid

I have a one year old and have been a SAHM since she was born. Husband is the breadwinner for now. He loves our daughter alot, plays, cuddles, and pampers her alot. I am responsible for cooking, cleaning, and emotional labor for birthdays and basically everything. He takes out the trash, does taxes etc. Sounds like a very traditional marriage I know. The thing is, I'm struggling. My girl is not a great sleeper. I think in the past year, I've gotten a good night's rest, maybe a handful of times. I keep complaining to him but, he has said he will do something, but actually hasn't. She takes 1 crappy nap in the day and I usually prepare dinner or try to clean. When she's up she wants me with her consistently, like I can't even go pee without her getting worked up. So my house is a mess. I can barely cook. And obviously, I look like crap. Yesterday after picking up takeout, he was visibly pissed and started to go on about how we eat out alot etc. Today he says house is a mess and he's unhappy. Excuse me you are unhappy? I've never had more than 3 hrs away from her, I've not slept through the night, I exclusively pumped for 8 months, I haven't done anything for myself in the past year, and you are unhappy? Is this how marriage is supposed to be ? Are my expectations unreal? We exchanged cards on valentine's day , and I usually write something heartfelt inside, but this time, I felt nothing.