Late Stage Jenkem Addiction

Hi, I'm Cody. I've been on the jenk recreationally for the past year or so, I've had experiences with other drugs previously, I've used weed obvs, ecstacy, kpins, percs, PDCB(in the form of U pucks[urinal pucks]). coke and more recently meth. I got hold of these mainly through high school friends who knew some shady people. These were all fine and once I noticed that I was beginning to get addicted I could limit my use etc.

The real problem has been jenkem. While using PDCB in the form of U pucks I started to notice that, I was mostly getting addicted to the used ones and also the older ones, which I thought was strange, because surely they'd be less potent therefore addictive? After a while I started to realise that I wasn't actually using them for the PDCB, but instead the other chemicals around them, mainly from the piss. Strange I thought, I did some more research and realised that this was an actual thing, Jenkem.

I did some research and speaking to other long term jenk users I realised this was REALLYYY something I did not want to get into, so I tried to cold turkey myself of jenk... oh boy what a mistake. After about 6-8 hours I started getting THE WORST withdrawl symptoms I have ever got, bearing in mind I have had to stop using percs and meth recreationally before, imo they're not even on the same level..

Jenk withdrawl gave me:

• Constant eyes watering and tears running down my face
• Full body tremors and shaking
• Thousands of tiny pinpricks of pain all over my body, at a 8/10
• Severe nausea and dizzyness
• Constant intense and vivid fantasization about fecal and waste matter to the point where every time I went to the bathroom I would spend 45mins - 2 hours huffing what ever was in the bowl uncontrollably. It really felt like I had no power or control over my actions. I would even try and eat especially "reactive" food for my digestive system and experiment with supplements like magnesium citrate to pass quicker and get fresh material for my jenk addiction.

This obviously didn't last long and I went straight back on the jenk. It's now gotten to the point where before travelling or going anywhere with my friends or around my university, I will have to spend 5-10mins on google maps checking there are no public toilets in the area because I know I will uncontrollably run towards the bathroom as soon as it's in sight, which obviously puts major strain on my personal relationships. How I keep my addiction going is by always carrying on me(as an essential , just like keys, phone, wallet etc) a plastic container with concentrate fermented jenk matter that I get from a larger bucket in my apartment, while this is good enough to stave off the withdrawl symptoms, it really doesn't touch jenk that's been fermenting for weeks in a public bathroom.... god I can feel my skin crawling and a deep lust and desire burning in me just talking about it.

I've also heard that if you get off jenk to quickly, you can have seizures and die, Is this true?

I guess what I'm basically saying is that I need a way to satisfy my addiction for jenk properly, as my own homebrew isn't cutting it. I know sourcing and plugging isn't allowed on this sub, but I figured I coudl have an exception made for me due to the severity of this addiction. I need high quality jenk and fast, as I fear my life is completely falling apart, missing classes etc.

Thank you all and STAY AWAY from this stuff, I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy...