An artist I commissioned on Etsy hasn't responded back in almost a month.

TL;DR: An artist I commissioned on Etsy hasn't responded back to me in almost a month after saying they would send WIP photos (that I asked them to send) and I'm worried that I scared them into ghosting me after trying to contact them multiple times outside of Etsy.

Back on December 31st, I commissioned an artist on Etsy to draw me a posca canvas and a mail sticker commission. They haven't responded back to me since the 23rd of January when they said they were going to send the WIPs for my commissions after asking for them to provide me work-in-progress images as I saw that they weren’t making progress on my commissions according to their queue. They did say they were "backed up a bit" due to being busy in their last response but it will be a month since I last heard from them in less than 10 days.

Despite finishing 5-6 commissions, including two posca canvas pieces that were commissioned after me, for other clients since the 23rd (they probably finished more since they haven't updated their queue on Trello since February 4), shipping out items on Etsy and posting on their Patreon almost every day, they've never attempted to reach out to me. They stopped working on my commissions around or before January 9th because they needed to ask me a question regarding the colors of the posca canvas but never told me until after I asked for WIP photos on the 20th of January. They are unable to continue working on my commissions until they send me that question they wanted to ask me.

I've already made multiple attempts to contact them outside of Etsy (Discord, Twitter, Gmail, Instagram, Toyhouse, and Patreon) but got no response from them. They are rarely active on most of their social media accounts except for their Patreon and Toyhouse (according to their Stats page).

After almost 3 weeks of silence, I recently contacted most of their social media accounts saying that I've given them two deadlines: one to contact me and/or present the WIPs before the 23rd of February or I may consider asking for a refund and a cancellation of my commissions. The other to contact me when I ask for a refund after failing to message me before the 23rd by the end of the month or I will have to chargeback with Paypal. 

I recently contacted one of their friends on Toyhouse yesterday, whom they didn't speak to in months, asking if they could message them and they just told me today that the artist did see and open their message but unfortunately didn't answer back.

Anyone have any advice on what I should do? I feel like I'm being impatient with giving them a deadline almost 3 weeks after I last heard back from them. Their carrd, their Discord bio and their friend did mention that they have a bad social phobia, so I feel awful for pestering them outside of Etsy for the WIPs and that question they wanted to ask as well as threatening to ask for a refund if they don't respond back before a specific date as doing so likely scared them into not responding back. This is my first time dealing with a slow-at-responding artist as I got very worried after the 2nd week since they last responded because the artists I commission usually got back to me within 48 hours after messaging them.

They have queues for four different commissions: 

• A digital full body pagedoll
• A digital headshot
• A traditional waist-up made with poscas
• A traditional waist-up drawn on a mail sticker.

Both of my commissions are at the very top of the bottom two queues.