Does anyone else look much worse without a hijab?

I often see women on this sub make posts about how they’re struggling with hijab because they look much better without it. However, I have the opposite problem, as I look so much better with it on.

I have severe hair loss that started when I was around 12/13 due to a combination of genetics and some other factors. I’ve never seen anyone my age, or even 10+ years older with hair as thin as mine - although I hear girls complaining about their ‘hair loss’ all the time. I genuinely feel I will be bald by the time I’m 50. I also have brachycephaly, so the back of my head is flat. It was most likely caused by sleeping on my back too much as a baby, and also because I was born premature, so my head was more malleable. There’s literally an indent in the back of my head. People have noticed my head is weird and they’ve called me ‘egg head’ etc. I always have to make sure I have a high bun so that my head is less noticeable. However, my head still looks weird as it sticks out from an angle. You guys may not think having a flat head is a bad problem, but you wouldn’t understand if you don’t have it yourself. 99.9% of people have normal round heads, and there’s me with my deformed one. Even with a hijab, I have to worry about what my head looks like when I go out in public. No one else has this problem. My hairline is also very high and practically non-existent. My forehead is also very wide and square shaped so there’s a lot of hijab styles I can’t do.

I don’t believe the hijab is mandatory anymore (I don’t want to get into a debate), so the fact I don’t even have the option to take it off is incredibly depressing. Even when guests come over, I feel incredibly insecure and I can’t bare for them to look at me without something covering my head. I feel incredibly unfeminine. Even before my hair loss, I had thin and fine hair so I really don’t know what it’s like to have ‘good hair’. I can’t remedy my lack of hair with other stuff because I have a huge nose which multiple people have commented on. I’m only 4’10”, with very small bones and a very skinny body. I look like a little boy. Just hearing about women talking about their hair or curves makes me so depressed. Dressing modestly is not a problem at all for me because I’ve got nothing to show off. Really, wearing immodest clothes would actually draw men’s attention away. 

Hearing women on this sub giving advice like “You can style your hair and be pretty at home”, “You can look cute at female only parties” etc. makes me so sad. I could never do that. Even showing my arms in my own house makes me uncomfortable because I have bad skin. No man will ever be attracted to me. I don’t even plan on getting married because it will be impossible for me to show my body. I have no idea why God gave me so many physical flaws. You guys can’t deny there’s a lot wrong with me. I didn’t even get into detail about how bad my face is because this post would be too long.

I don’t really know why I wrote this post, it’s not like anything you guys say will change the way I look. Does anyone else have similar problems? Could some of you give me some good advice? Please don’t say stuff like “Some people have it worse”, “Life’s a test”. That’s not going to help at all.