[745] Organic Canvas

Hey, I'm looking for brutally honest critiques on my flash fiction horror piece, "Organic Canvas". I'm consistently impressed by the quality and depth of the critiques on this subreddit, so I came here first. I hope to publish my story in a horror-focused/experimental lit mag, so I'm wondering if this story fits that market well. So far, I've proofread and self-edited my work.

Feedback: Anything goes!. Line edits, emotional/thematic impressions, advice on where to publish etc. In particular, I'm looking to improve my dialogue, which feels like it's drowning the atmosphere & story a bit. Also, I'd like to know if the character/personality differences between the two main characters are accentuated or interesting enough.

Huge thanks to anyone willing to contribute!

Synopsis: Two artists collaborate on a sinister composition.

Excerpt: The sculptor abandons hope of controlling his instruments, they defy domestication. Even when unleashing them for work, the rusted horde strikes with a ravenous will of its own.

Content Warnings: abduction, blood, body horror, torture, & violence

Story Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WaO9TQ7wmcGLzd4AzWJvDFeetRust2qXW0spfmJncVU/edit?usp=sharing

Previous Critique[1139]: https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/100o5qv/1139_warpathprologue/j2pj67t/?context=3