[2248] Maganti Steel

Hey guys, a new writer but an avid reader here. I'm submitting the first several pages of my dark fantasy novel. All feedback is helpful but the most helpful feedback is anything concerning clarity issues, any parts of my book that is just plain cringe and you think I should take a look at (better to find out from people on Reddit than people I know, lol), and anything I'm doing right and you think I should keep during my revisions. Thanks in advance for anyone who takes the time to read my writing!

My Story: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pCsOBP2tR6C2y9k1WObpkn-AiyyWfYe-crQTRczd0b0

My Critique: (2264) https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/11io7tu/2264_stitched/