WIBTA for wearing a full face of makeup to my grandmother’s funeral?

My (22F) grandmother (76) passed away last week from, well I don’t know what exactly but she was sick and has been suffering from Alzheimer’s and dementia for the past few years. While we have been experiencing her to pass any day now, her death was still a shock. I have been kind of a mess and I've been dealing with clouded judgment and memory loss since her passing, normal grief stuff. While I didn’t have the best relationship with her, her death has still hit me hard. She was my grandma and I loved her.

Most of our extended family has already passed, and this side of the family is relatively small. This is the first funeral I will be attending as an adult, aside from a memorial and a few smaller pandemic things.

I struggle with my appearance and anxiety (I also have ADHD), so I have a hard time knowing what is appropriate for some situations. I also worked in the beauty industry through my college years so I know my way around hair and makeup products. When I do my makeup, I’m pretty much on autopilot. I always do a full face, false lashes, and all the bells and whistles.

So we had a family dinner last night with family that has come in for the funeral and I got dressed up a bit like everyone else and we headed to dinner. At dinner, my brother (21) commented something like “you’re not gonna look like that tomorrow (at the funeral) are you? You look like a drag queen.” He was sitting next to me, nobody else heard him.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. I was wearing a pretty conservative dress (long sleeves, little to no cleavage, tights, and flats) and my hair and makeup was done. We were drinking a bit, I don’t know if he was just joking around or trying to start something cause he was feeling sad. Grief makes people do crazy things I guess. But the comment stuck with me. The two of us aren’t super close, he’s away at college and I stayed home. So maybe he just hasn’t seen me dressed up in a while? I really don’t wear makeup unless I’m going out.

Now, I don’t know if I’m just anxiety-overthinking this. But that got me thinking, what kind of makeup do people wear to funerals? Would I look like an asshole if I showed up in my normal makeup? Maybe it would be inappropriate, I hadn’t given it much thought before. For where I live (New Jersey), women always wear big hair and makeup so it’s not culturally weird. But girls my age don’t really wear as much makeup as me. (For the makeup girlies, I do makeup like 2016 makeup with some drag influences, so my brother isn’t totally off). Also, nobody in our family is big on makeup either, so I would probably stand out which I obviously don’t want. The obvious solution would be to do more natural makeup, I understand that.

I’m sorry if this is a little all over the place. But would I be the asshole if I wore makeup to my grandma’s funeral?

[edit: I don’t wear, like, extreme makeup. No red lip. Natural-looking false lashes. Very little contour because I’m pale. Not big wing liner. also please don't get hung up on the drag part, I meant in regards to technique not direct inspiration. ] [Heres a link to inspo/examples for a visual https://imgur.com/a/SbCUV9e ]