Man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt

Lol.I remember a similar joke my uncle used to tell.

Guy walks into the doctor's office and says ‟ddddoctor, iiiiiiiii ccccccant ststststop ststststuttering” doctor examines him and then tells him to drop his pants.Doctor looks at his penis and say ‟ah, I see the problem.Your dick is too long.We can operate and remove a few inches and you'll be cured” The man goes back home and talks to his wife about it.He really doesn't want to shorten his shlong but he has not been able to land a job in years due to his stutter and he and his wife agree that it's the best course of action. He has the operation and wouldn't you know it, it worked! The stutter was completely gone, he landed a job and everything was great for a while.Eventually, his wife started to complain that he wasn't satisfying her sexually anymore so he went back to the doctor. ‟Doctor, my stutter's gone but we have decided that we'd like it reversed.My wife isn't happy at all”.Doctor looked at him and replied ‟ssssssssorrry, no nnnno nnnnno refunds!”

Sorry, I'm on mobile and dashes are a pita.

Another piece of tarmac follows him in, goes to the bar and says ’OI!, Pint.Now!’

The bar tender says ’I am not serving you, I’ve told you before you are a cyclepath’..

Everyone knows his house