I feel like I am more of an adult than my AM

My mom never had a stable job. She always asked me to do things that’s beyond my age, like finding the right road on map while I was 10. If I fall to do it she blames me.

She even comes to me and complain about how some 20 years old in the same building talking in front of her. I feel like I should be the one coming to her not she. ( I am 18 ) There’s a lot of jerks living here. I also met some jerk before. And I managed to deal with it and teach them what’s manner. I just don’t understand sometime why is my mom not like a responsible grown up.

She never teaches me anything in my life. She just expects things to happen and I will suddenly know how to deal with it. She is never there when I need her. I learn everything from someone else and by myself. For example, my cousin teaches me how to ride teen/kids size bike. The staff in the bike store teaches me how to ride the adult bike. She is barely there when I grow up. But she compared me to kids who have their family’s accompany.

She always dumps me to TV or grandparents. She doesn’t want me, she just want someone she can rely on cause my dad passed away. I feel soo complicated when I saw kids riding with the entire family. The only time that my mom actually watch me trying to ride an adult bike was 4 years ago. She said, “I never knew you can ride bike.”. Words can’t describe my feelings. I am soo furious and sorrow.

I barely compared myself with others. But when I see other people’s family I feel complicated. I feel sad because I know I will never have a family like that.