Unsure if mattress is too soft or too firm or both? Will a topper help?
My fiance and I have a nectar lush queen mattress (please don't come for me lol) it's a little over a year old. I'm 5ft tall about 106lbs, and my fiance is 5'10 about 200lbs. I'm a side sleeper, and fiance is a side/back sleeper. I don't want to get another mattress because we can't afford it at the moment.
We had a crappy full size mattress before that was sagging and had to go, so honestly anything felt better than that thing.
Every morning I wake up stiff, with some shoulder/hip, and like lower/mid back pain. It goes away after I wake up a bit. I know that shoulder/hip pain is normally from a mattress being too firm, but I'm unsure what causes the mid back pain.
I'm only 29 and I'm sick of waking up sore. I'm just not sure if a topper will help, or what kind of topper to try that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. I don't like memory foam or feeling stuck, which is why I liked the nectar lush since it doesn't feel like your stuck when moving around. We both also sleep kind of hot. I don't want a topper that's going to make the bed feel like I'm in a ditch either from his body weight.
If anyone has any suggestions or can tell me if my mattress is too soft or too firm or both I would really appreciate the help!
Posted Mar 16, 2023, 3:58 PM UTC
If your back feels stiff and things recover after a while, that's often a sign that the mattress is too soft. But it's a little hard to tell without experimenting. And that's not all that easy, as a topper can make your mattress softer, but it doesn't really do much to make it more supportive or firmer.
If you were a back sleeper, I would suggest putting a pillow under your legs to see if that improves things. It's unlikely to be a proper fix, but if it made things a little better then that's another indicator that the mattress doesn't support you properly. I'm unsure whether a similar technique works for side sleepers.
If you are tight on money, you might want to try a topper you can get one from Costco, as they have the most amazing return policy. Personally, I liked the white Novaform topper. The blue one has memory foam, probably sleeps too hot for you, and won't do anything to improve support. The white one on the other hand is a medium firm polyfoam that might just do a little for you. At the very least, it'll give you a better data point and some clue as to what you need to optimize.
If the topper still doesn't work for you, also try directly putting it on the floor instead of on your mattress. I don't expect this to be the final answer, of course. But at this point, you want to collect data to come up with a strategy. And that's a very easy experiment you can do
Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to answer! Does the white novafoam sleep hot at all?
Any type of foam will sleep hot. After all, foam is an insulator. If you want better temperature control, you need cotton or wool to sleep on. These materials tend to handle body heat better and they also wick away sweat. They are available as mattress protectors, but the good ones aren't cheap. Sometimes, just using a better-quality fitted sheet can also make a difference. Bamboo is very popular for this. And your choice of comforter will also play a factor.
Having said that, some foams are less hot than others. Some of it is thanks to the choice of material, but a lot of it is thanks to you not sinking into the topper. The less you sink into it, the less it can trap heat. This particular topper makes you "sleep on top". So, it should be better than others. Latex foam is also very popular for the same reason.
You can often find materials that claim to be "cooling", but that's mostly a marketing gimmick. Don't believe it. It works for the first half hour, but then they have heated up and trap heat just like anything else.
Thank you I appreciate it!