I wish for all domesticated cats to grow to 12x their size.
Posted Mar 17, 2023, 6:28 PM UTC
37840
Granted. They're hungry.
170
I can smell you Jon.
40
You have to buy cat food in 40 gallon drums, and the fuckers only take three bites.
2
Guess I'm gonna just need a freezer full of raw chickens and HOA karens
1
Granted.
I did some research, and historical records indicate that the natural size for domesticated cats is a few inches long. Following the Industrial Revolution, averages began to grow. Experts believe this may be due to long term genetic damage affecting mammals caused by constant and untreatable pollution.
Side note, isn’t it weird how human obesity rates have grown worldwide over the last few decades?
123
It's because you can't get enough of that sugar crisp! Can never get enough!
44
Human obesity rose with more and more seed oils being introduced to our diets! Look it up. Interesting stuff.
16
...or it's just that calorie dense food is much more available.
1
we are poisoning ourselves for profit of others. We put sugar in every prosuct and wonder why everyone gets insulin resistant and fat. we have transfats and conservation chemicals. And now micro plastics in our blood that do god knows what damage to our organs....
6
Granted.
A flash of cosmic energy run through the world and make all domesticated cats 12 times larger, 12 times longer and 12 times higher.
A standard cat is now 1728 bigger.
It is estimated there are 220 millions domesticated cats in the world. Each of them needed around 300g of food everyday. This made a total of 66 thousand tons of food. Daily!
Now they need 114 million tons of food. Daily!
Cats start by eating all cat-food available in the world. It takes about 2 days.
After that, they start hunting the billion dogs of the world (natural ennemy). Considering every dog is approximately 25 kg, it takes around...6 hours.
About 2 days later, cats have eaten every domesticated creature they can find in the human world...so they start to eat humans to fight hunger. They need around 1.5 million humans to be kept fed. Daily!
At this rate, it would take around 14 years and 7 months before all human in the world are eaten and the cats start eating each others. But it happen much much faster since a single female cat can breed 5000 kitten during her life, so the exponential rate of reproduction of these new world dominators rapidly swipe every living thing. In around 3 to 4 years.
Then they start eating each other.
In the ruins of an old human home, a monkey paw curls a finger leaving only one up 🖕
Edit : I made a mistake, they would need 1.5 billion humans daily, not million...so humans would be wiped out in 5/6 days, not 14 years...but it's funnier to imagine this slow agony of the human race so I leave the original comment unchanged.
90
This is just the backstory of Horizon Zero Dawn.
28
Damn
8
I've never read it but I assume this is roughly the same plot of the warrior cats series
5
Please don't.
14
Granted you cat now turned tiger begins to hunt you seriously
12
Granted you cat now
Turned tiger begins to hunt
You seriously
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10
Granted. The body structure of domesticated cats is not designed for sizes that large.
There's a reason elephants are shaped the way they are
10
Granted. TEEMEE!!1
7
Granted. All domesticated felines grow to 12x their size, thus 1728x times more volume and mass.
The square cube law acts. The poor ratio of strength to weight for their muscles and bones immediately made all domesticated cats, felines, and lions collapse under their own weight. Their internal organs were crushed under their own sheer weight, and every single of them underwent a painful death.
7
this one is sadly realistic
2
Granted! And they will still sit on you and playfully bite so watch out they’re big now!
6
Wish Granted, a reincarnated version of my cousin’s cat with a growth disorder that was 29 pounds and was not fat, is now a 348 lb 4 foot height , 6 foot length behemoth is giving cocaine bear a run for its money. Now, the cat’s swipe is up to 8,000 lbs of force, and it hasn’t learned to play nice. When it sits under the table and jumps on your leg and claws at it, you’re already done.
6
Granted, but all humans shrink to 1/12 their size
4
Granted. Cats take over the world, keep hoomans as pets.
3
So nothing changes?
5
Granted. No cat changes. No cat is truly domesticated :)
3
Granted.
Your cat slowly starts to increase in size. You lay down thinking nothing of it. Unaware of how large that really would be, you call your cat to you and it rests on your chest. Your chest starts to feel like a heavy weight is on it and before you know it, you are pinned to the bed. You hear it partially meowing in pain, its having difficulty doing anything. You take a good look at your cat. It looks like an expanding giant, furry ball of fat. From what you can see the size of the cat is expanding but its skeleton is staying the same size. An ever growing gelatinous lump of cat encroaches closer to your face. Eventually expands over your face, suffocating you.
Your terminally ill brother sees the situation. He sees what he recognises as a paw of a monkey. He rushes over, grabs it and wishes for the last wish to be reversed and that he would take on all the bad luck.
The cats reverse and start to shrink to their regular size. Your brother dies of a heart attack and falls next to you.
When your bodies are discovered, the cat had already started to eat your body
2
Great, now my little shittens are gonna be even cuter
2
Hah, I also call mine a shitten. As well as a shitter, a shat, a little how bout that. Cute little shatten.
1
Granted.
what have you done
2
Granted! The finger curls. They hunt and eat all humans.
2
That's exactly what would happen!
1
All 4 fingers curl in and the thumb extends upwards
1
Same but with the third digit instead.
1
Granted. A lot of them are indoors.
1
Granted. Lions in zoos are considered domesticated.
I'll take it.