Source
r/medical•
MasterOfTriad

Adhd question

General Question

Hello, I don't know if I have adhd, somthing else, or reading too much into it, and no I didn't go to the doctors recently, and I don't know how to approach the doctors because then it will look like I am seeking pills so let me explain..

When i was younger i was diagnosed with several disabilities, deaf in right ear, cerebral palsy, adhd, just to name a few, i take 0 medicine now my mom wanted me to stay on disability for her to get the checks and was a huge drug head, and was a nurse... so I don't like medicine and don't even take ibuprofen... now back to now...

I get depressed easily, frequently think of suicide to end it all, 0 focus, and I had np focus since forever, I start cleaning a mess and loose all energy immediately lay down which turns into hours then it is too late to do anything, I went through a divorce 2 years ago but even before then, I have memories of things I regret from as young as 9 years old that I did... rather it was stealing someone's milk at school, or somthing I set, it sticks with me and I regret everything... now before anyone answer me on this, I want you to know I am not suicidal, I will not do anything, I am not lashing out for help, I am pretty logical on everything, and have always thought life choices through in the moment, just wondering what all this could be lol every day since I was born the guilt just builds up more and more over stuff most people would just shrug off, any idea???

Posted Mar 19, 2023, 1:32 AM UTC

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Hiddeninthealt276•

NAD: Don't want to assume anything: could it be your mother is guilting/ manipulating you?

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MasterOfTriadOP•

She has been passed for 12 years brain anurism I am 37 now btw in fact I beat my cerebral palsy I don't walk with braces anymore, full time jobs, I went to doctors and they said I am no longer considered disabled by the practices, due to how I act anymore and they said it is rare to see someone with such a disability not be considered handicapped, but no she isn't manipulating me as she has been passed for so long haha

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Hiddeninthealt276•

Ah- sorry for your loss. It is fairly common to feel guilty of minor things you have done. I still remember when I was 7 and I stole a cookie from this one woman's plate when she looked away - the brain is complicated, the more you think of something, the more you remember it.

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MasterOfTriadOP•

True, the reason I wrote this last night is I was cleaning house and just got real winded for no reason sat down depressed when i was only cleaning for 5 minutes and didn't clean rest of the night, happens a lot as long as I can remember I just never mention it to doctors because my mom was a huge known druggy that went in for mods to several locations, so I feel if I talk to them about the weird behavior I notice but can't control it would make them look at me that way, that's why I just ignore it but I figured I will ask on here as it's strange most people I come across don't clean for 5 minutes then gi e up in depression lmao anyways thanks for your help, not too concerned over this was just curious how to approach a doctor asking but it's a new day and I feel good again haha until it hits 😆

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MasterOfTriadOP•

True, the reason I wrote this last night is I was cleaning house and just got real winded for no reason sat down depressed when i was only cleaning for 5 minutes and didn't clean rest of the night, happens a lot as long as I can remember I just never mention it to doctors because my mom was a huge known druggy that went in for mods to several locations, so I feel if I talk to them about the weird behavior I notice but can't control it would make them look at me that way, that's why I just ignore it but I figured I will ask on here as it's strange most people I come across don't clean for 5 minutes then gi e up in depression lmao anyways thanks for your help, not too concerned over this was just curious how to approach a doctor asking but it's a new day and I feel good again haha until it hits 😆

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floridianreadersocial worker•

I don't know that there's a diagnosis for that, but what you can do is to get a therapist who can talk to you about these things and help you process your feelings and move on from there. There are bound to be some that work with your insurance, if you have it, and there are even some that see patients who don't have insurance. Go to psychologytoday.com, and there is a search bar for finding therapists in your area right in the middle of the page. If that doesn't work, do a simple search for "mental health clinic sliding fee scale" + your zip code or your city's name. Sliding fee scale clinics just take a portion of their usual fee, and base that on how much your income is.

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MasterOfTriadOP•

Thanks I have tried to find a therapist before, everyone wants to do zoom calls and no physical visits even before covid... and I refuse to go that route, if it was a physical 1 on 1 I would make time, for the past 5 years to drawn out the thoughts, I work 17hr days 2 full time jobs, so that I don't think about it as much, and 8hrs on my days off, it helps but only so much and they start creaping back into my head haha, and I am fine if I don't get it fixed or resolved and I do know it has to do either my upbringing, homeless at times, couldn't walk until I was 8... that's why they looked st me for cp and other issues, had the enlonging surgery for the heal cords and was lucky enough to be able to walk, so I mean I am blessed just I hate the depression and anxiety I feel all the time keeps me from actually living, and the stuff I do people point out isn't normal on a constant basis lol, if I get a therapist to actually talk in person I would make time otherwise I would continue to deal with it until I snap 😆. Thanks again never checked that.

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cctr102607•

Guilt, depressed mood, low energy, and lack of focus would all point to depression to me, but your history of an adhd diagnosis would also suggest adhd. Also, untreated adhd can often turn into depression.

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MasterOfTriadOP•

Well I am sensing out an email to an therapist sometime this week, per a link given here, but yes I took myself off all medicine growing up and 37 now so I don't rven like to take ibprofine when in pain, lol but no worries thanks though this has been resolved hopefully

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