A Man Without a Soul (Prose)

If I am a man without a Soul, why has the world not told me?

Perhaps it was not as easy as we first thought, a life I held once with no desire I now hold with nothing but, and it is the torturous reality that I exist in. Perhaps it is time, as I always tell, and am told.

My soul is like air. This is not a scientific observation, but simply, reality. I do not see my soul, I do not feel it. But it is there, as days like these where the air disappears, my soul returns. It bleeds on days like today. I can only assume that this is my soul, for i cannot see it after all.

I have often pondered the reality of the world. Am I the only one here? Do the others think like me? Is the world a better place in the minds of the others than in the mind of my own? I hope that is true. My life is conditional, a parole of sorts, measured entirely by the opinion, and the eyes of the others. my value is held separately, held up hostage against a measure I cannot meet without a change I cannot commit.

I am lonely. I speak now as a man. I am not the man I want, or ever did want. Maybe my realisation that I exist in such empty is un-news. I expect so. My mind wanders on days like these. Is this real, why am I so easily un-loved, and why must my soul insist on this being my reality? They are not real questions, they are rhetorical, with no answer at all. it is why I ask them. It is a self-torture, a cataclysm in my own head, that allows me to continue to stutter, and ultimately, become mute.

There is hope, I am sure, but it fails to present itself on days like these. Progress is lost, forgotten in the wind. It is disappointing that I cannot see past this day. Tomorrow, i hope will be different. But I am unsure.

Time heals all, I am told.

I hope this is true for the men without a soul.

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