Why do people get to enjoy there lives?

I wonder why I suffer at times, I never did anything to anyone to deserve this and yet it still happened. Its like seeing the life you could of had if you weren't stupid growing up because for some god forsaken reason I was the one god chose to suffer this living hell, I'm told to march on with barely anything to hold dear. why the hell do people not care about anyone? it just seems so cold anymore, it makes me think that being alive is just the expression of suffering. Everyone just talks and laughs, enjoying life and I stand utterly alone. most people I've meant put a knife in my back as soon as I was no longer useful, I wish people had a lick of empathy but that's to much to ask for. I don't get what I did to be punished this badly, what did I do so bad that I deserve this much pain in life. why do I get to suffer and not the people who hurt me, I guess karma was just a fairy tale told to us to make us feel better about our lives. Nothing really matters to me anymore, rather I live or die does not matter to me. I don't care what happens to me, I'd just be happy to have this pain end in whatever form it takes shape in. I love to have someone but I never was meant to have anyone at my side, I walk a lonely road that will include more suffering. I hope I have the strength to handle it.