I have always struggled with my appearance, but as I have gotten older It has definitely started to get worse. Recently i've had a bad habit of taking front/side profile pictures of myself when i feel like it, and it kind of ends up being awful for me. I start to feel extremely insecure to the point of where I feel sick on my stomach and start to have thoughts of hurting myself again. The side profile pictures have really gotten to me, as I feel that I have such masculine features for a woman. I hate my sloped forehead, my small ears, my tiny eyes and big nose, my thin lips, my chin and jawline, i just wish I could have something different. I've been using photo apps to edit my face to see what kind of surgery I would like to get in the future. I have been taking anxiety and depression medication for years, and have recently started more medication that did seem to help in the beginning. I'm trying so hard every day to find aspects of myself I can love, but it really gets so difficult. I was insulted a lot growing up because of my weight as well (I was very thin) and though i've begun to gain more weight, now the insults revolve around stuff like my hip dips or broad shoulders. I feel like I am at a total loss. Every daily experience I have gets destroyed when I look in the mirror. Even posting these pictures now I feel so much shame and embarrassment for the way I look. I am not asking for anyone to feel bad for me, or even try to change my mind. I'm looking for any help or advice someone may have that has been in a situation similar to mine? This will be my first post on here. Thank you for reading

self destructive thoughts and zero confidence (labeled NSFW for: discussions of body dysmorphia)