AITA for rebelling against my parents?

My relationship with my parents (43F) (43M) is far from ideal, as a 15-year-old. Although I've always been a good role model for my younger siblings (13F) (6F), things took a turn for the worse when I was in the third grade.

When I was younger, all of my classmates seemed to have their own phones, but I didn't. My parents believed that I was too young to handle the responsibility, and they worried that I would become addicted to the device. Although I understood their reasoning, I still felt left out whenever my friends would pull out their phones to play games or send messages during our free time.

I would often watch enviously as they laughed and played games together, wishing that I could join in on the fun. I tried to talk to my parents about how I was feeling, hoping that they would understand and buy me a phone, but they didn't seem to take my concerns seriously.

As time passed, my jealousy grew stronger and more difficult to control. I felt like an outsider whenever my friends would gather around their phones, and I began to resent my parents for not allowing me to have one. Despite my attempts to communicate my feelings to them, nothing changed, and I remained the only one in my group without a phone.

It also came to the point where I would steal money from them so that I could buy toys to show my classmates which I admit was wrong (I never stole from anybody apart from my parents and grandparents).

When I was in my first year of high school, I was given a phone. I was over the moon with excitement - it was my first ever phone and I felt like a grown-up. I loved being able to text my friends and scroll through social media whenever I wanted. Life was good, until my sister got a boyfriend.

Being the older sister, she confided in me about everything. She told me all about her new beau and how much she liked him. I knew our parents wouldn't approve of her having a boyfriend at her age, so I kept her secret safe and promised not to tell a soul. She had someone to rely on and I don’t. And become envious of her.

Then, something totally unexpected happened. The guy I had been crushing on for three whole years messaged me out of the blue. He asked me if I would be his girlfriend and, of course, I said yes! We had both liked each other for so long, it was a dream come true.

But things quickly turned sour. My parents found out about my new boyfriend and they were absolutely livid. They were furious that I had kept such a big secret from them, and they couldn't believe that I had started dating so young. Suddenly, my happy world felt like it was falling apart.

I had aunts, grandparents, and cousins who lived in the same neighborhood as us, so we always had people to turn to. My father had a younger sister who I also called my aunt. She was in her late twenties and hadn't been married yet, but that didn't bother us. What did bother my grandparents was when she got pregnant. They were furious with her because she wasn't married, and they blamed her live-in partner for everything.

As a ten-year-old, I didn't really understand what was going on, but I remember my grandparents being angry and my aunt being very upset. When she finally gave birth, her partner moved in with my grandparents and my other aunt. Since my parents were both working, my sister and I would go to their house after school. Her partner was always there to watch us, and he seemed nice enough at first.

But after a few weeks, he started doing things to me that made me uncomfortable like sexually assaulting me. I didn't know how to tell anyone, and I was scared that my family would get in trouble if I did. So I kept it to myself for a while, but eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I told my parents everything, and they wanted to sue him for what he did to me.

However, my father didn't want to go through with it because he was worried about what would happen to my aunt and her children if something happened to her partner. I was heartbroken when I found out that my aunt didn't believe me. She had always been my best friend since I was the first granddaughter of my grandparents, and we were very close despite the age gap between us. It was a difficult time for me, but I learned that sometimes, people don't believe you even when you tell the truth

Then online classes started, my parents bought me a computer to use for school. But I quickly found myself spending more time playing games and meeting people online. One person, in particular, caught my attention - an 18-year-old guy who was always there for me. We became close friends, but when my parents found out about him, they were furious. They hit me and told me to focus on my studies and having a boyfriend is only a bad influence. But they didn’t know that he was the one comforting me through hard times and always there to support me.

They always compared me to my cousin on my mother's side, who had high grades and was seen as the ideal child. I tried to explain that my cousin had different parenting, but my parents wouldn't listen. Instead, I became more rebellious, using the money I stole from them to buy cellphones and defy their rules.

My relationship with my father was strained, too. He never showed any affection towards me, and I felt like he favored my sisters. Even when I tried my best to get his attention, he never seemed to notice. When face-to-face classes resumed, I skipped school to be with my boyfriend and ended up getting suspended. (I had a sore throat that day, the school wouldn’t allow anyone with symptoms to attend since there was still COVID)

At school (I was in an all girls school), I found a friend group who would talk behind other people's backs. I felt guilty about it and eventually told one of the people they were talking about. I thought I had made a new friend, but later found out that they were also talking about me. Despite this, we eventually worked things out and became close.

However, my parents found out that I was still using cellphones and became physically abusive. They hit me, kicked me, and even tried to drown me in dirty water. I asked them to send me to a psychiatrist, but they refused and told me that I was just being difficult.

It’s a tough time in my life, but I had my boyfriend to rely on. He was always there for me and helped me through the tough times. Even now, he's still by my side, and I'm grateful for his support. But I still struggle with my relationship with my family and my own sense of self-worth. I didn’t know what to do with my life even now. Doing self harm, attempting suicide, having mental breakdowns.. I really don’t know what to do with this life..