Do any of you’s feel simultaneously relieved and disappointed when people don’t speak to you?

E.g. at work I’ll feel like my social battery is at zero and I want to be on my own but then I’ll feel hurt and embarrassed when co-workers don’t speak to me, even though I don’t want to speak.

It’s upsetting because it’s like I want to want to, if that makes sense. I wish I was more sociable.

Or maybe it would feel different if I was telling people “hey I don’t feel like speaking right now”, but when they don’t speak to me I feel like oh I’m awkward and managed to make myself an outcast again, you know.

Like it would feel better if I was turning down requests to hang out rather than just not receiving any.