Was it really so bad to not want children so early?

TL;DR: Should we just get a divorce and move on since my wife is unable to move on as she sees me as the person to blame for the miscarriage?

I got married when I was young at the age of 20; my wife at the time was 18. We had our first son at that age. At the time I was not ready to have another child so I wanted to wait. I didn’t have a job; I didn’t have a place to stay. My wife at the time wanted another child soon afterwards, but I couldn’t think of the idea of having another child. I come from foster care so I know how hard is to bring another child into this world without the means to support him.

I then joined the military and move to another state; my wife insisted so much that she wanted another child, and that she was getting old and she needed to get pregnant ASAP. I just wasn’t ready she was 20 at this time, my current son was 2 years old. She was doing her degree, I still was brand new military person, in another place that I didn’t call home. I was so lost; I just didn’t feel it. When she finished her degree and I was also a good standing in the job, we decided to have another baby she was 24 years old! I was 26. At this moment she miscarriage the baby, and SHE HAS BLAME ME FOREVER FOR IT. She told me that because of me she lost it, because we waited too long, and that because she got old her body couldn’t handle the pregnancy. Then she went ahead and cut her tubes, and now she is unable to get pregnant ever because she told me that she wasn’t going to ever give a baby to someone as ungrateful as me.

After this, she fell into a deep depression, and had an affair to have revenge for how I made this to her. She told me that I abandoned her because I was going to school and didn’t spend time with her. Then she maxed out her credit cards because she couldn’t cope with anything. Then suddenly things started to get better, we were more attentive to each other, and we were sharing stuff. But nothing was ever the same, I could see her deep pain of not being able to cope with the pregnancy loss, I could see her pain that she would never be able to be a mother, I did tell her not to please cut her tubes, and she told me that nothing I could tell her was going to change her mind my body, my decision.

Now recently, 4 years later she started to fall into depression again because she started to take care of a beautiful newborn baby but this time is worse than before. She maxed out her credit cards, she fell into deep debts, and she just extremely stressed out. She doesn’t spend time at home anymore, she goes out to clubs with her friends and doesn’t return until the next day, sometimes the whole weekend. She told me that the best that we can do Is get a divorce because we are just too hurt and we are beyond repair. I am hurt, I am deeply sad maybe getting depression. I am unable to see a way out, she is more distant than before and I don’t know what to do. I am thinking of just moving out, but this is a rented home; so that means so many expenses, and if we get a divorce, it means we have to move from the house and that means we both would have to get 2 different homes. I am really desperate here; is this the end of our family???