Had to leave work early

Was feeling ill after lunch and was trying to pull through. However, a different TL asked me to have a couple of my associates help with a project. They needed a shopping cart so I went ahead and grabbed it for them and on my way down the grocery action aisle I trusted a fart

HUGE MISTAKE

One of my other associates asked me how I was doing right when it happened to which I responded "I just pooped myself." He pleaded with me to tell him that I was fucking with him to which I shook my head in shame as I proceeded to park the cart and do the "Shit your Pants Shuffle" towards the back bathrooms.

Alas! I was stopped in the chemicals department by a customer who was confused about a price of a deleted item! With poop in my underwear, the fiery contents of my bowels melted through the fabric of my delicated boxer-briefs as I gently tried to explain that they would match the price at the register with the price on the shelf. However, English was not this customer's first language. 10 minutes passed as shame and stench filled my soul until I was eventually set free.

With that I proceeded to the back bathroom where I shit my guts out with fiery fury. After what felt like an eternity I was out and calling for higher management. We walked to thr coach's office where I unceremoniously declared. "I pooped myself." To the coach on duty. "I'll be using some PPTO tonight, I must return home and shower."

It was an uncomfortable ride home.