I'm going to do it.

I'm 14f and I just can't do this shit anymore. I hate school, I hate eveybody, I hate myself. I just don't know how to tell anyone irl because I feel so awkward and I feel like nobody's going to believe anyhting I say. And like there's to much to explain in a 45 minute camhs session but like I just feel like if I'm feeling down enough and I have somthing to do it with I'm going to actually kill myself without reason. And I don't know who else to tell so yk this is my last resort does anyone have any advice on what to do cuz I have nobody I can talk to and idk what to do anymore.