Anxiety is destroying my life

I have general anxiety disorder and it's really making my life fall apart! I had it for a long time until I got diagnosed in 2021 and got help! It affects almost every part of my daily life but especially when I have work to do. I am 19 years old and still an school and I have to repeat a year (already had to repeat a year in 6th grade) bcs I almost never go to school bcs of my anxiety, I also do no work bcs of it! Because if this situation I feel like a failure which makes me feel anxious even more! The worst part about it is that ik that I "just" have to go and "just" have to do it in order to succeed bcs I know that I wouldn't be to stupid but uts just my mind stopping me, I hate it so much bcs no matter how often I try to tell myself I can do it, I give up before even trying... it ofc isn't the only thing that I can't do... I barely go out with friends bcs of my anxiety, I have a irrational fear of getting sick, that's why I also don't go on vacation or parties or anything! At home I just sit around watching Netflix to avoid any thought of anxiety, doing tasks stresses me, not doing them stresses me, everything stresses me! I don't enjoy my life, I'm either bored, stressed or depressed and I hate myself for every choice I made and make, I feel like I'm only in survival mode! Also I can't find therapy rn which makes everything eben worse! And I can't help myself... no matter how may motivational videos I watch nothing motivates me long term..