Hi mom, I’m feeling desolated

Hi mom,

It’s been a while since we last spoke, I didn’t get to thank you for all the support and advice you granted me, so I wanted to start off by thanking you for helping me make one of the more impactful decisions I could’ve done as an adult - removing people from my life that were ultimately bringing me down.

It’s been a month or so since I’ve cut off an entire group of friends that consisted of approximately 10 people, all of which I never truly felt connected to for the majority of our time together (nearly a decade). Even though my resolve remains untouched, I’ve felt the weight of my decision more and more with each passing day. My current friends, although genuine and supporting in nature, are at a point in their education where they have to dedicate as much time to their program as possible to make sure they can have a career later on. I would rely on family if I could, but dad recently went overseas under a new position and mom both lives in a different city and her work has been increasingly more demanding as she’s taken in more responsibilities.

I’ve tried picking drawing back up, I even attempted transitioning to digital art - it has been great fun! Only the feeling doesn’t last long after. Decided to pick up video games again just for comfort yet I ended up yearning for the past more than ever. I tried to fully immerse into my job and my academics, but I’m always done before my deadlines. I’ve taken the bad habit of sleeping the days away, something uncharacteristic of me - before I used to sleep from 11 pm to 4 am but now I find myself slumbering at random every afternoon for hours after completing all my work for the day.

I thought I would be ready to return to a more lonely and private life, but it seems I failed to account for far too many variables.

Thanks for being there for me during these strange times, mom. I appreciate you.