Why can't I trust?
I've been in several serious relationships, yet majority of them have ended because of my girlfriend cheating on me. I make it apparent in the beginning that I'm a somewhat clingy person and if they need space that they just need to ask. I stress that I value honesty and respect and hope that they do to (which they all agree), yet each time down the road I figure it out and I spiral downwards into alcoholism and depression. Now I'm convinced that my newest girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm sitting in my apartment getting drunk.
I can't trust people anymore. I want to trust my friends and my significant others but I just can't. It's making me a bitter, cynical, and a misogynist.
Posted Nov 4, 2012, 11:52 PM UTC
31
Okay. Here's the point. You've had some bad luck with some of your relationships. That's it. And it's perfectly normal to "not trust anyone" when a certain amount of trust has been crushed by others.
I've lost my longterm girlfriend of 4 years and my mother, who just quit our family without a single word, this year.
Trust has to be earned. Some people trust others right from the beginning. Others not. Like you and me.
I would advise you, to get some counselling, to break through that flow of negative thoughts. You learn, what kind of things you're making up in your mind and which not. It's an absolute relieve, if your therapist tell's you, that your reaction is perfectly normal.
I found out, that the key to a trustfull relationship is honesty. Talk to her. Don't accuse her of cheating. Tell her, what you've been through. Say it, as it is. Say, you want to trust her, but you need help to make that happen. If she helps you, she's a good person. If not, then you got nothing to lose or get drunk about.
Hold up buddy, I'm with you!