Source
r/Swingers•
GeekySwingCouple

My girl an I are about to get into the life style, just looking for advice.

Getting Started

So my girl and I are about to try swinging. We are not worried about either of us getting jellous or anything like that and we have set up rules for both of us to follow if we are both with other people together or separate. We are going to take photos of ourselves tonight, no faces mind you, to show off online mainly on this account that is seperate from our 'public' profiles. What I want to know if there any red flags we should be aware of. For example if we are communicating with someone else before the hook up if there is anything that they may say that could be a warning sign. Also any general advice about something you think we may not have though of may be helpful.

Posted May 11, 2023, 7:40 PM UTC

117
mrhorse77Couple•

id say that even though you think you wont be jealous, you prob will be and you should prepare to communicate about that right now.

I always suggest new couples play the "what if" game, and go through all sorts of crazy scenarios and talk them out. that way, when something does happen out in the wild, you have some idea what your partner would be ok with.

you guys will both have a bunch of newbie energy that will eventually vanish, and you dont want to be 6 months into this and realize that you hate it for some reason or another.

3
GeekySwingCoupleOP•

We have been having those conversations so we can prepare ourselves. We are going to take this slow.

I lot of thought and consideration has gone into this.

We have also gotten some good reading material from a friend of mine who is in a poly relationship. I know it's not quite the same but it helps to get his perspective.

2
mrhorse77Couple•

there's lots of crossover in the lifestyle and poly communities, you'll definitely meet some poly folks if you go to a club.

easiest way to start out is go to a club together, plan to do nothing with anyone new, except perhaps kiss. stick to whatever you agree on. be upfront with couples that you are new and dipping your toes in. (some folks dont want to deal with new couples for various reasons... ).

after the party, debrief and see how you feel. really unpack it all and go from there.

you'll know if its for you really quickly.

also, prepare to have a difficult time being/staying hard. ED pills are easy to come by, and experienced lifestyle folks will use them as needed. the new experience of being with a group of people is often overwhelming, and you may be 10000% horny, but your dick simply wont work. ive seen it happen to many new couples. dont get in your head and just understand this happens to men without some extra help sometimes lol

3
GeekySwingCoupleOP•

We have a photo session potentially planned with someone I know. She will be taking the pictures and may or may not join it so we are are kind of dipping our toe into being with someone so to speak. If getting it up and maintaining is an issue at least it's someone I know and trust so it won't be as embarrassing. :P

1
funfolks100Bisexual Couple 20s NE Fla•

Hubby and I suggest you guys visit a club for an event night. Go with no preconceived ideas about playing with anyone. You can meet actual couples, see what goes on and the facilities. Experienced couples are always willing to share advice. Good luck!

2
GeekySwingCoupleOP•

Thank you, we will keep that in mind. Where we are there are no clubs, at least that we can find. We might be doing a road trip to a major city though to check out the scene.

1
jelloshotlady•

There are a great about section of this sub that is a fantastic resource for everything you might have a question about.

Reddit is probably the WORST place you could post. If you are serious then get onto a paid site.

Search “red flags” or “new” in this sub and read away.

Do not play separate. If you do come back here in 6 months and tell us if you are still together.

1
GeekySwingCoupleOP•

Yeah we're most likely not going to use Reddit to look for hook ups. Right now we are most likely going to hook up with 'friends of friends'. If anything we may post on Reddit just post photos for our desire to also be exhibitionist.

1
am811•

Friends of friends?

1
GeekySwingCoupleOP•

We are not hooking up with our direct friend group but many of our friends know other people who are swingers.

1
buddie50•

The best advice I can give you is be open minded and remember it's meant to be fun for all parties.

You will meet people who are a better fit with you and people who you need to work a bit with.

After your fun always talk to each other and don't be afraid to laugh at each other because I can tell you that things may happen good n bad that will have you thinking how did I get involved in that or how did that happen

Have fun and a laugh and don't take things too seriously

1
Adorable_Hat_1612•

Following. We might be back into it soon. Hopefully things haven't gotten too weird.

1
burning_spear_rtp•

Web sites are to get introductions to house parties and mixers where you can meet real people. Trying to find all your hookups with websites can be frustrating and tiring.

1
Regular_Impression20•

You will be very jealous

0
[deleted]•

[removed]

-2
jelloshotlady•

No! Bad Dog!

This is NOT what this sub is about. Shoo!

10
GeekySwingCoupleOP•

I appreciate the interest but this post is just for advice right now. If you follow our profile we may post pictures later somewhere else.

1