Source
r/WLW•
Visible-Use-2496

Whats wrong with me??

I’m talking to someone new but at the same time I still really like my old “situation-ship” but I broke that off with her for a reason and now I’m conflicted because I don’t know how to be the best me for this new person…and I don’t want to lose the new person cause she’s really great and she’s what i’m looking for in a potential partner rn…i just don’t know how to let go of the safety and feelings I have with my old situation-ship though (her and I still talk btw but as friends…) I don’t want to be toxic, but I also don’t want to make the wrong decision on who my heart truly wants…😭

Posted May 23, 2023, 4:06 PM UTC

710
isobel_blueExpona ea quomoda sentia!•

I broke that off with her for a reason

Sounds like it is time to give the new relationship your attention.

5
Visible-Use-2496OP•

okay😭😩and you’re right, and i know you’re right

4
isobel_blueExpona ea quomoda sentia!•

It's not about me. It's your life. But take it from an old gal - it's best to start now because the time runs faster than you think. I've wasted so much time waiting until I was fully ready. (Hence my motto: tell her how you feel.)

1
Visible-Use-2496OP•

i know😭im taking your advice and its actually going great…the grass is greener for sure

2
hiifoundthis•

If you still have feelings for someone else, it doesn’t really matter how great your new person is tbh. I would want to get over that first 😅 I personally can’t really date until I’m totally over someone because it feels unfair to whoever I might potentially meet

1
FridayCab•

How do you get over someone?

1
hiifoundthis•

great question lol

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thesmellofjasmine•

I met my current situationship on the heels of separating from my husband, and she had just split with hers. We were very conflicted about the timing of it all, but once we felt safe enough, we opened up to each other and we were both able to accept our complex feelings. Humans are complex beings, capable of feeling several things at once. You may not be done grieving the former situationship, and just because you had good reason to break it off, it doesn't mean that feelings dissolve automatically. Be kind and graceful with yourself. This can be a wonderful opportunity for growth and perhaps closeness beyond all you can imagine with your new person. Best of luck!

1
Visible-Use-2496OP•

its going really well…ive opened up to them about it a little and i feel much safer with them compared to the anxiety or uncertainty i would feel with the old situationship. i deserve better yes and i need to allow better to come my way, instead of running away back into my comfort zone…your story is so reassuring to hear, thank you for sharing 🥺

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yellow_submarine4444•

Don’t get involved with someone new if you still have feelings for someone else, it isn’t fair on you or the other person. You have to be over someone before you can move on with someone new

1