I imagine a Bible
A cherry blossom petal
Scriptures on pink skin
Carried on the wind
I think of your garden
And Koto strings
Plucked like raindrops
From a cloud.
Play for me please
And I will dance
For you
In the suns soft light.
Posted May 26, 2023, 2:29 PM UTC
I love the language - so many short yet evocative lines.
reading this made me want to see this place for my self
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Very good imagery, friend. I can't fully picture what would it be like a pink skin with so many things to tell the reader who touches and caresses. Very gentle comparisons, so haiku-like. I would just go deeper in the last stanza, but it keeps the pace very well, just a crude and mostly useless observation. I have the strange need for very consistent and piercing endings, but not everything is meant to be like that. Thank you for your imagery, Stranger.
Thanks for sharing! Good stuff. I loved the feel of music inherent in the poem and maybe you could expand in that? When comparing Koto strings to raindrops, you could add sensory details to emphasize the sound and visual effect, such as the shimmering reflection of the raindrops on the strings or the gentle pitter-patter of the plucks.
Wow.
I am so glad you enjoyed, and thank you for your encouragements! Your contribution is most welcome, feel free to add those elements yourself if you so desire. I am not sure if I am capable at this point to incorporate them, but maybe one day.
Be well!!