I relapsed bad

I was just messing with someone who I thought was a transphobe online, it was on a post about pronouns and under one of the comments I thought this guy was saying they don’t matter, so I referred to him as she to make a point, that’s all I did.

I misinterpreted their comment, I’m autistic so that’s easy to do, and I even said I might’ve misinterpreted it, and apologized if they’re in fact not transphobic, after that they kept calling me a cunt and said my art looks like something a mentally ill kid would make, I apologized and they told me their LGBTQ daughter died and I was making fun of her by messing with this guy who I thought was a transphobe, I couldn’t have known that. I still beat myself up over it, I literally couldn’t have knowm

I’ve literally been crying all day because of the art statement and the misunderstanding

I don’t have an education, I don’t have good work skills, I don’t have good coping methods or a good body, the only thing I have is my art, I’m self taught and have been drawing since I could hold a pencil,,and I felt so awful about the misunderstanding I cut all over my thighs again.., all over, I keep thinking about this conversation again and keep wanting to cut more.

I feel so awful about this

I can’t look at my art the same rn because just before this an ACTUAL transphobe also insulted my art,, I feel like they’re being genuine.

This is so fucking childish