Can't get help from therapists because I go in with a smug sense of superiority.

I have struggled with depression, anxiety, Bipolar and Borderline tendencies for years. I've been to multiple therapists but have gained absolutely nothing out of any of them. The problem is that I am incredibly good at supressing and ignoring my lows. I have semi-frequent panic attacks and bouts of rage.. but only when I am alone. This will be followed with a period of self loathing and embarressment.

I'm well aware that I need help. But whenever I go to therapists I convince myself that there is nothing wrong with me. I'm highly functioning. I hold a stable and sucessful career in Public Relations. I have close friends and a loving boyfriend who puts up with my insanity. I speak clearly and lucidly with my therpists and leave thinking it's some sort of joke. I am an attractive young woman, I'm funny, and can force myself to be social. My trian of thought is basically "we both know this is a joke, I'm normal, you're normal, we're both asking ourselves why I am even here."

But I'm not okay. I suffer deeply. I've been told by every person I've ever dated that I live in a fairy-tale world. I have panic attacks in crowds, and avoid social situations. I can't focus, I melt-down at the smallest disappointments.

Can anyone relate or give me any idea how to change my mind set with pyschologists so that I can finally gain insight and get the help I need?