[F4A] Lady Suicaedere: All she wants is to give me a kiss, and refusing is the hardest thing that I MUST do [Private Script Fill][Suicide][Mental Health][Suicidal Thoughts][Tempted by Death][Slow][Narrative][Poetic][Blessing in Disguise][Tearful][Hopeful][Accepting Inevitable Return][SFW] by Isapeth

!!! This SFW audio addresses suicidal thoughts and depression !!! Please be careful and kind to yourself before, during and after listening !!!

https://soundgasm.net/u/LurkyDip/All-she-wants-is-to-give-me-a-kiss-SFW [23:00]

https://www.whyp.it/tracks/102939/all-she-wants-is-to-give-me-a-kiss-sfw

Words by u/Isapeth (posted with author's permission)

Sooner or later, she shows herself to me.

I know she never left, always hidden in the back of my head, watching, whispering, waiting for an opportunity, a moment of weakness, a moment in which I find myself alone and hurt, a window to talk to me once again…

With barely a sound she appears to me. Beautiful as always. The tall figure of a stunningly alluring woman, behind a blanket of fog. As she gets closer, her features are revealed with each frightful step...

xxx

!It is an ethical quandary to make content like this as it would be devastating if it were blamed for having a part in someone ending their life. On balance, that fear of blame does not tip the scales enough not to make it.!< This audio is absolutely 100% in favour of living. >!Recognising the darkness, the incessant nature of it, and the appeal of giving into it, well, that changes the % in no way at all.!<

!The longing to put an end to it all can be a very lonely feeling. It makes you unique in that moment, nobody else's pain is that great at that exact time. This is one reason I loved u/Isapeth's words. It is appealing, it is tempting, it is everything, it promises the ultimate relief. Worse than that, this feeling will return - you are destined to be linked forever... And yet that is exactly what makes it conquerable. It is a bit like the Princess Bride and 'Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning'. That choice is always there. And we win every day by not taking it. Or we live and feel and hurt every day at the very least. And that has value in itself.!<

!The best advice I ever got was that this darkness - this feeling out of nowhere of the sadness and deadness in the tips of your fingers and toes - is yours and it will return. It is a cycle that cannot be stopped. But we are smart people and so when we see it coming, we can cope with it a little bit better each time. That mix of inevitability (it will return) and agency (I can handle it better) makes living a less scary prospect.!<

!When we are very low, we do not deserve the space we take up and we simply can't face doing it anymore. !<The point is that you don't know what's in store, however achingly bleak things may seem. So much good stuff may happen, you might find a hobby or an outlet for creativity, or change one person's perspective, make one person smile, and suddenly deserve your space. The trick is sticking around for long enough to find out...

https://soundgasm.net/u/LurkyDip/All-she-wants-is-to-give-me-a-kiss-SFW [23:00]

https://www.whyp.it/tracks/102939/all-she-wants-is-to-give-me-a-kiss-sfw