I need some help and to get something off my chest.

So I have been suffering from sever depression and alcoholism for the last 3 years. I use to be able to work my full time job and maintain a notoriety with my company as being a great worker. Now my depression is sort of screwing that up as I am having a REALLY hard time getting motivated to do anything. Last night was the first time I thought of killing myself and it scared the living shit out of me.

Why I'm depressed is my father has Parkinson's and with all mental disorders his medication causes mood swings. For about 2 years he would heckle me and give me a hard time if I didn't visit my parents at least once a week. If I did come visit he would run into my room between midnight and 2 and yell at me for one to two hours saying I am a giant piece of shit saying how useless and terrible I am. Saying how I am a horrible uncle... any would just yell these things at me despite my pleads to let me sleep.

I finally told him not to fucking talk to me anymore and he still calls me from time to time which causes me to re-lapse. does anyone have anything that could help.