My boyfriend [17/m]'s mother hates my [17/f] guts... but maybe her hurtful words are right?

You have to understand that his mother is crazy. She's one of those insane asian mothers who control every aspect of their children's lives.

For her, her son (my boyfriend) is literally the most important thing in her life, and I understand that. He (lets just call him Jason) is ridiculously smart, well rounded, overachieving, good at his instrument, etc. and I know we're both so proud of him.

However, I feel like his mother is too controlling. I get that she doesn't want us out too late at night, or spend hours and hours together when we have schoolwork, but she doesn't stop there! Afterschool, she calculates 15 minutes for Jason to drive home, and if he's not there, she immediately starts calling. Once, Jason didn't have his phone, and I left mine in a classroom. When we found it (about 20-30 min after school let out), I had SIX missed calls from her.

I've been trying to placate her, not monopolize Jason's time, only have real conversations with him over the weekends, and it's been difficult and frustrating. But what really set me off was this:

Last night, Jason's mom logged in on his facebook and started messaging me. She was saying things she'd already said to me before, like how I was only wasting his time and that he has more important things in life to do than chat with me. At first i was angry at what she was doing/saying, calling me a selfish girl, a bad child etc. Then I realized... what she's saying is right. After Jason and I got together, he's been more tired, and he has to work harder to get his schoolwork done, and I've convinced him to ditch afterschool practice a couple times..

I'm just an overall bad influence on him, and it's so, so selfish of me. .. but I care about (dare i say love?) him so much. What can I do?

tl;dr: My boyfriend's mother has been telling me I'm a selfish bitch for taking up so much of his time/life.. just realized that she's right and he's probably better off without me. But I care about him so, so much