Dammit penis, you had ONE job...

Among other things.

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

Male, 28, in engineering. I've got pretty much everything I could possibly want, with no REAL hardships in my life. Great job, great apartment, 4 cats.

I've also got a job, and I'm damn good at what I do, or at least I believe I am. Got a girlfriend who's a whooping 9 years younger than me, clocking in at a comfortable 19 years old. Not that I mind, she's hot and clever, and not too demanding. And most importantly, she doesn't want children. That's probably one of the most important criteria I have really, it's hard as fuck finding women above age 21 who aren't ITCHING to poke holes in all your condoms around here.

That said, I look way way too young for my age. I also don't FEEL like 28. During the daytime I'm a responsible and clever engineer who's polite and will do anything to solve your immedeate problem.

Night falls and I turn into this crazed teenager who cares for nothing other than copious amounts of video games and fucking someone's brains out. Not neccesarily in that order.

Which brings us to the issue of Mr. Penis over here, who definately DO feel like he's 28 apparently.

This shit pisses me off. I'm normally a very very sex focused person, to the point where it's almost a hobby. Into kinkstuff and everything that goes with it.

Lately, however, with the stress from the new job, I've had trouble releaxing and letting my mind go when it comes down to sexytime. This happened TWICE, at which point me and the GF sat down and talked about it like adults, which worked out just fine. Agreed to wait for a bit to let me sort my mind out and get back in the game, which seemed to work. Now after a few weeks, erections come and go during the day again just like they always have, with ZERO issues. However, when the clothes come off for sexytime, my brain absolutely WILL NOT STOP thinking "oh gods, I hope it won't flop this time oh shit oh shit oh shit..."

At which point I get so stressed Mr. Penis flat out says "Fuck this shit, I'm out cya" to my great frustration.

There's nothing wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with my GF. There's nothing wrong with Mr. Penis. What IS wrong is Mr. Brain going into "OH CRAP, THIS HAPPENED ONCE WHAT IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN" mode whenever there's a naked female around.

Blow to my manhood? You betcha. And it pisses me off to no end I assure you.

Goddammit penis, you had one job.

As for advice, all I can find for this problem on the internet is "Dude releax and focus on having sex instead", and not a single goddamn site I can find mentions HOW. I'm not stupid, even I could figure that out. Plz to tell how stupid internet, argh.

Just had to tell that story. Now back to your regularily scheduled reddit.