Am I even addicted?

Hey guys.

I started out here on NoFap what seems like a long time ago and I'm starting to ask myself if I am addicted to fapping in the first place.

I stopped watching porn quite a while ago, which made me feel better in general.

Now I adapted the mindset that if I have a session, I'm gonna take my time. In the past, I conditioned myself to be able to come by flexing my PC muscles (even if there are descriptions of it being able to surpress the orgasm / keep the ejaculate in, it does the opposite for me) and by taking my time and using my other hand, I've been successful at getting rid of this habit, at least.

What itches me is that I'm not able to abstain when I'm alone over the weekends. Most friends study (which I would have to do 24/7 as well) or have time only very seldomly.

It's still somewhat compulsively, but will that ever change? The longest I've gone since a year now was 28 days, where I felt on top of the world. After 10 days it really got easier. Now I've never been able to hold out longer than that.

I also somewhat get the feeling that I'm putting too much pressure on me to finish the challenge. It's starting to feel like I'm depriving myself of something, or punishing myself for not having a girlfriend.

However, going back is no option, either.

What do, r/NoFap?