Does anyone else have the well-meaning witch doctor in their lives?

For me, bless her heart, that person is my mom. I have to endure a bimonthly barrage of "Honey, the experts like Dr. von Wallet Rape over at buythesepills.com/.tv/.biz say that if you wash down eighteen of these sawdust pills three times a day with a glass of hot bleach for just two months, you'll poop out all the Crohn's and live in a mansion with unicorn butlers, where you will live until you die of an awesome overdose at age 400. Just read all these testimonies that are clearly written by the same person."

So, I guiltily hammer down the sawdust pills with the bleach for about a week because it's not about the money, after all. But when I stop because my colon is hanging out like a raw gardenhose, it's suddenly about all the money that she spent, and I have to endure what I suspect will be a lifetime of "Honey, if only you had stuck with (randomly-selected snake oil from Rolodex of Spite) like Dr. von Wallet Rape suggested, you might feel better. You never even TRY what I suggest."

Or my all-time favorite: "Yeah, I had Crohn's for a while. Why don't you just put your head in a woodchipper like I supposedly did? Fixed me right up."